In case you didn't know, fasting is not very fun when you just barely starting your period. At least my mom had emergency Advil and it started an hour or two after we'd done baptisms for the dead yesterday. That was incredibly lucky (or just one of the little miracles Heavenly Father does, because I doubt he would've liked that to happen while I was dressed in white and in the water...), huh?
I feel like this week was a bit... weird. Along with excitement and a bit of disappointment. But overall weird.
Just to get the weirdest thing out of the way, I had another dream where I was pregnant... Two, actually, in a row. I'm just seriously questioning whether this is supposed to mean something? Because I'm pretty sure within 12 months- or maybe even 6 months- I've had a dream where I was pregnant at least 4 times! The last 3 I was apparently a surrogate, so at the very least I was having the baby for someone else, but I was still in high school! I doubt that's even allowed... And weirder still was that everyone around me just acted like it was completely normal to be a surrogate mom at my age. And, in the first dream of this kind this week, there was actually a Korean girl where we thought she might've been the actual mom of the baby inside me, which makes me wonder if there's such thing as anonymously doing this whole thing?! And the second, the possibility of who was the mom was between two Korean girls (and let me repeat also the girls part, which also doesn't make much sense to me)! I just... I just wanna know if it really is my brain being weird (which, for once, I'm actually not entirely sure of, since I remember seeing a bit of a commercial that might've had something to do with how this popped up in my dreams, but I think I'd seen it in the day between these two nights, so it doesn't explain the first night) or it's what's gonna happen in the future. Someone tell me! *scream of frustration and mild fear*
I haven't actually told someone in real life since they'd probably as disturbed or worse than me... But I don't know if I actually should confide cuz I'm a little bit freaked out.
Now to go back to chronological order, starting with Monday...
There's a guy in our ward who's going on his mission in Atlanta, Georgia, and he said it's gonna be in English (I've only heard him speak Spanish so far, so I hope it isn't too difficult for him). Since I know that two of my friends just so happen to live in Georgia, and both are devout Christians, I'm wondering if maybe I could attempt to hook them up with a missionary and see how that goes... I'd need to check I have their information, though, and see how to do this in a way that they won't get mad at me... (Today we went to a little party for this girl who I think is his sister who's going to Argentina for her mission. I managed to get myself to talk to a guy who was there by himself, but when a family that he actually knew came by he kinda totally ditched me... Thanks, Dakota, really appreciate it.)
There's been a lot of "..." so far. That usually doesn't happen... (Woop! There it is again!)
Something very special happened on Tuesday. I'd already decided I wanted to go to BYU and wasn't really planning on allowing room for changing my mind... But I got an invitation in the mail and by email to go to this thing called "Exploring College Options" where some top colleges were gonna give presentations and answer questions about their schools. And I mean top colleges, like, say~ flippin' Harvard!
I had a bit of difficulty choosing whether to go or not because I'd already set my sights on BYU and this would probably only result in either not gaining any useful information or getting my parents to push me towards going to one of these schools even if I didn't want to. We ended up going anyways, cuz my parents said that it wouldn't be a waste of time.
Due to that, we learned that, even with the pretty decent amount of money my dad makes, we still barely fit under the line which indicates that we'd get tuition free! I thought my dad made too much and thus the need-based aid tons of colleges do wouldn't help us, but nope! We would still have to deal with room and board and maybe a few other things, but that's still a whole lot less than my parents and sister ever expected. (We told my sis by text afterward, and she freaked out.)
And, to my surprise, all three of us were excited by Stanford and Duke's presentations, though my parents were leaning more toward the former due to its proximity to Utah and such. And, luckily, my dad wasn't concerned about Harvard anymore! I was intrigued by a few of the points the Harvard guy made, but we all felt like it wasn't the right fit for us. Harvard's probably a great school, but my dad doesn't want to bother trying to get in. Both are rooting for Stanford instead.
And, my mom asked the Stanford guy if there was the possibility that someone with a GED could get in, and he said it's actually happened before! So if the situation as to why my sis got a GED in the first place is explained and we show she's still doing and has done cool stuff, like teaching English and math and dance, then she could possibly get in too, and we could go to Stanford together!!! *kyaaah!!!*
I did a bit of research for both Stanford and Duke to see if they'd have the classes me and my sis have been considering taking, and it seems that yes. There's tons of languages my sis can do, plus a minor in Education, plus Stanford one-ups by having a Translation Studies minor. For me, I found that S has a human biology major with a focus on biomedical science (which would include genetics, but also have related things like epidemiology, which just so happens to be what Broranges wants to study, hehe), and D has a biology major which could be focused on genetics or genomics, plus both have minors in Creative Writing and whatever science minors I think I may want to do.
Then there's my dad, who's been thinking that he could possibly go back to school at Stanford, or U of U, or maybe even Duke, depending on if they'd allow my mom and dad to live in a dorm together.
So, it hasn't been 100% confirmed by a family meeting or something that we're reaching for Stanford, but it seems that's what's happening.
While it should be a good thing, it changes things quite a lot. For one thing, the concurrent classes I take at SLCC won't count anymore, which kinda sucks, and who knows if the summer math program will either. I'm hoping that, at the very least, they let me get bumped up to the higher-level math classes at Stanford even if they aren't totally required for the degree I want. There's also that now we need to really make an effort to show that I really make something out of my "passions". Like, I think writing counts, so it's good I actually write both here and in fics (though I doubt either would be really impressive, so I sure hope I can do a really great essay and maybe show a bit of WFAM), but dancing feels like it's more of something I did when I was little, back when my mom still did actual classes. I still get excited about our spare performances and like dancing when we go to the proper parties for it, but I just don't feel like I really actually dance much anymore, no matter what my parents say.
There's also drums, which I am practicing about as much as I used to (which is to say an average of once or twice a week when I really should be playing more often), but I'm not taking classes nor am in a group/band like we did for a bit in Alabama. I don't really have much to show for it, in that case. And I suddenly feel like I'm not as good as I could be. I love playing Green Day songs, but I need to try new, more complicated stuff (as if Green Day doesn't already have complicated songs) if I wanna really be able to show off and be versatile.
Last possibility is martial arts, but I hadn't taken actual classes since I was 7... My interest got reignited by Coatrack, but that was just hanging out with him and going to his club. I have to admit I'd lost that spark of wanting to be in martial arts for years, and- though I still want to get into a new class, if I can- I'm a bit concerned that suddenly starting up again between junior and senior year and putting it in my college application will make it look like I just wanted to make my app look good. I'm also worried about my parents being able to afford it...
We actually went looking around at different martial arts places on Friday and a bit after our time at the temple yesterday. It kinda sucks cuz I'm interested in the ones like Tae-Kwondo (and follow in my sister's footsteps), Kali, and Systema, but those are the ones that are far away and/or cost too much or might not seem worth the price. The most decently-priced place seems to be a Kung-Fu place, but I'm not totally sure I really want to learn Kung-Fu? I think that's mainly cuz I'm not totally sure what we'd be doing in that style and it seems to be made fun of a lot... But if it is indeed really cool and close enough to our house, I guess we'll most likely do that one.
Returning to the topic of the concurrent classes not counting anymore. Due to that, my dad was saying that I should at the very least take college classes that would impress them, and- since he didn't ask me to elaborate much on my plan- he thinks I'm just taking blah classes. I'm taking the closest I can to impressive, but I could've possibly done better if there was more options for concurrent classes! Like mentioned before, they don't even let me take Math 1080 like the Accuplacer said I should take, but even Math 1060 is pretty good (and, especially if I get a good grade in math my first semester, we could hopefully convince the community college to let me take 1080 as a concurrent student in the second semester). I plan to take Chemistry and then Physics, which would (hopefully) ensure that I have a good base in the sciences for when I go to actual college. And English is because I need to take 12th grade English anyway and I want to make sure my writing gets better and I start getting used to writing essays more often (as much as I'd rather not). I actually feel good about taking these three classes, so I hope- unless he really has a better, doable idea for what classes to take next year, then I'm sticking with the plan I have so far.
Yes, taking the basic classes for English and science are not "Wow, she went up and over the moon!" but it's what I'm allowed to do and what I feel I should do.
What sucks, though, is that I have to do Financial Lit over the summer. My teacher pointed out that it wouldn't really be a useful class for colleges and it probably wouldn't be best to leave it as one of my very last classes next year. So, she had me take the pretests for both terms last week and, just like I feared, I only got about 70% for both, one a teensy bit above and the other a teensy bit below. That means I'll have to do most of the actual classes to pass with an A, which I clearly can't accomplish within the last 4 days of school I have this week. And I really would rather not leave this for next school year and have that on my plate along with all the normal classes I'm taking. So, look who's going to be doing some summer school after the math program! *points to self with deep sigh* I sure hope I finish it rather quickly and still get some time to enjoy the summer break...
We went to the library again on Friday, since I'd put a few books on hold and they arrived very fast. So, I'd accidentally written a series title wrong last post; it is actually Spiral: The Bonds of Reasoning. For some reason, it's difficult for me to remember. I also had gotten Armada by Ernest Cline, which is hopefully as cool as Ready Player One. We ended up buying quite an amount of books there too, so those were hopefully worth getting once we get around to reading them.
All that's left to talk about now is fics. This is the week when I'm supposed to publish the final chapter of "Visiting Homeland"! I'm really hoping I can get the last few paragraphs done tomorrow (since there's no school tomorrow, and neither was there last Friday- oh! Last Friday, my mom and I tried out a simple recipe of portabello mushrooms stuffed with cherry tomatoes and mozzarella, which came out decent) so I can edit the entire thing on Thursday and Friday with fresh(er) eyes and make sure it's really good before posting on Friday! Ah! It's officially ending forever and ever!
What started up this week, however, was that I suddenly received a bit of inspiration to add a bit to the idea of "They Never Saw the Sun" (which I can't remember if I ever talked a bit about it here) and redo "Two Souls, One Armor". I mean that as in I suddenly got an idea of how I could start the narration of the prologue or first chapter, depending on how I decided to do it. That, along with the sudden urge I had to write the ending for 2S1A several weeks ago, I decided I might as well go for it. I really can't predict if I'll ever get the rewrite to the point where I'm confident in posting, due to needing to make sure I really know where I'm going with the plot and making the necessary changes that diverge from the original so it is higher quality than the first time around I wrote 2S1A.
First change: the title. The best title I came up with on the spot is "An Extra Soul Trapped Yet Saved", but I should hopefully manage to tweak it a bit if I actually post this story.
Second change: it can't be a self-insert anymore. I mean, it wasn't a traditional self-insert in the first place, as far as I can tell, since it was a Lilly who was born in Amestris and lived just outside Central City (most likely for her whole life), and she ends up dealing with a certain serial killer, which I highly doubt will actually happen to me, but even if it did, it's too late to be identical to the story since this Lilly had originally been written to be 15 and I'm kinda almost 17 now... Even though Lily was 15 in FH and VH, I think I'll stick with 15 here again since it seems like it won't be too far from the ages of the Elric brothers.
But yeah, it can't be Lilly still because I already was bordering fanfic-taboo with putting myself into "Family History". The important things that I think should stay the same, like her age and backstory, will remain, but I want to model out an actual OC, which means a different hypothetical appearance and personality and such. I hope I manage to do this decently, cuz otherwise I'll either get ragged on for self-inserting or this whole thing will be really boring due to being entirely (or maybe almost entirely) narrated by someone who lacks character.
Third change: the original mood and writing style needs to be thrown out the window. I already explained long ago what was wrong with this story, but I'll say real fast what is bad about it again. It is too carefree and more like just observing a fictional story instead of being treated like all of this is real life for the characters. By that point, I was familiar enough with FMA that I could flippantly say "Yeah, this one guy dies" instead of being "OH MY GOSH, THIS GUY DIES!" and it clearly reflected in that work. So, I need to take the events more seriously, and thus allow the characters to take their lives seriously as well. Already, this is meaning that the beginning is quite dark, more than I'm used to seeing out of myself, and I need to really make more out of the OC's past. I'm hoping I'll manage to make my character appropriately traumatized, but not make that such a crucial aspect of her personality as time goes by, like what happens to some OCs. Honestly, OCs that seem to act like total jerks because of their past experiences or seem attacked by PTSD too often can be a bit annoying (I know PTSD is serious, but it can be overdone and tiring to a point)... so, since I'm doing something similar with my own OC, I'm really hoping I manage to handle this aspect well and thus don't become a complete hypocrite. I don't like being a hypocrite.
Oh, and style is because it really lacked detail and normal prose. The ratio of dialogue to just prose and thoughts was huge to almost none. I still do quite an amount of dialogue, but I think I really started to balance between the different parts of storytelling when I was working on "Visiting Homeland". Back in my first year-ish of fic-writing, though, such a balance was much less common.
I guess the last possible change I could do is map out better what sort of scenes I'll do between the beginning and end. I know in 2S1A I did about half-and-half between scenes that had to do with the canon plotline and scenes that were unrelated. So, I'll have to figure out if I still want to do something similar (but do more than just dip into the events like originally done, but actually take events seriously) or have a different sort of balance. What's more important at the moment, though, is developing the main character and writing well rather than vaguely.
Clearly, I have a lot ahead of me, both with school and after-school... Wish me luck, and happy Memorial's Day tomorrow~ Bai!
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