Psionist Wedding Audition

Hello world!

Did you know I've been writing "Hello, world!" without the comma because that's how I wrote it when I first started this blog? I'm keeping tradition going. (Though every once in a while I feel tempted to add in the comma despite "tradition"....)

Last night, I had a dream where I think I was trying to break into a prison... or at least someplace equally scary and heavily guarded.

What I didn't put in my previous post: a drawing!

I like wearing suspenders. Therefore, I drew a picture of me with suspenders. I had low pigtails, but I was having a hard time drawing them right, so I just erased them. Pretend I have my hair back in a normal ponytail or bun that is not visible from the front?

I think these new anime eyes for me are working out. I wish they'd come out a bit more even, but otherwise I like 'em. They're definitely more like my current style, so now I can draw myself with other characters and it won't look mismatched! Yaaay!~

Also, when I had extra time in Graphic design, I doodled this up on Photoshop:

School finally started getting into normal routine by the end of this week. I also made a new friend!... I think. I sat next to a blonde girl in math. We didn't really talk until at one point I pulled out a Bleach book- because I've seriously needed/wanted to read more of it- and I manage to strike up a quiet conversation with her because of it.

See, this is one of my favorite things about liking anime. Even if you're not a total otaku, it's a gateway to making new friends, like that. *snap* Even if the other person doesn't read manga, they tend to inquire on the subject and you can tell them a little something about it. Seeing someone with manga or anime merch or anything like that is like having a neon, blinking sign right above their head that reads "THIS PERSON IS COOL, TALK TO HIM/HER!"

I've noticed something... By now I've met at least three Cecilias, and they're all (naturally) blonde. *tilts head to side*

My sister returned from her trip to visit friends!... Sick. Yep, she got a cold or something right as she was coming home. She's still feeling bad- enough that she couldn't come to church today. Poor her.

And the day she came, there was an audition at school for the first play of the year- and I actually went to it.

I was really nervous about this, because- well, not only have I not really done that much acting, though enough to know I'm decent at it, but because this was a play, not a musical. Musical's more up my alley, cuz I like singing and dancing and acting. I keep remembering how much fun it was to be an extra in Fiddler On the Roof Jr. and dance in the aisles during "Tradition". *reminiscing expression*

Anyway, I went, and it turns out- like I had expected- it wasn't just a play, but a small one. As in, there were only 6 characters in the entire thing. That made me more nervous than ever about actually trying out.

The girl helping the teacher to direct the play actually came over to sit by me and talk with me. She convinced me to audition- saying that, even if I didn't make it in, I could consider this practice for when I try out for the musical or maybe the other play later in the year.

I was still terrified of acting and doing it with a bunch of theater kids watching, but the moment I was given the script... I suddenly didn't feel so nervous anymore. It was like looking at my lines reminded me that oh yeah, I really can do this, and I kinda love doing this. Why was I so terrified?

In the end I didn't get the part- though I have a feeling I was actually pretty close- but now I am excited for when the next productions come by, and hopefully I can get a spot in those. Also, I definitely want to come see this play and support the kids that made it in.

Seriously, the theater group was so nice. A little odd and loud, but nice. The teacher was so excited to see me and talk with me, and they all wanted me to come to drama club, which I actually plan on doing. As long as they don't do too much improv in the club, I'll be happy in there.

Like I mentioned before, I got a couple Bleach books from the library, plus some other ones. I finished Dororo, and this morning I finished the first book of The Secrets of the Immortal Nicolas Flamel. I really liked the book, though I was having a hard time believing it didn't have anything to do with Fullmetal Alchemist. I mean, at one point he snaps and suddenly fire shoots toward his enemy! Sounding suspiciously like a certain colonel, aren't we?

It took until the author's note at the end about how the book got started for me to be like "Oh... I guess not." I think it said it was written in 2000, which is before FMA came out. While I'm glad he didn't borrow from Hiromu and interested that they came out similar in a few ways despite being unrelated, yet that's somehow still a little... disappointing.

At the library I'd also found Psyren, and realized there were some new ones I hadn't read yet. I think the last volume I'd read was 13, so I got that one again (so I could refresh myself on what had already happened) along with 14-17. (I'll be honest, I never fully grasped everything that happened during the series. I'm thinking that sometime I'll start all the way from the beginning again so i can follow along better.)

So, in volume 13, there's a point when Eiji and Shao fight... I didn't really remember much about Eiji, but they did a good job of showing examples of his... work... earlier in the volume. Trust me when I say that seeing what he likes to do made me feel a gut drop to my stomach... I don't even know which one, but it was heavy. That's what happens when you see a total psychopath, I guess. He's a bit like Jeff the Killer... if he had crazy powers. Yeah, not good.

Anyway, the fight... OH MY GOSH, IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!! 

I was quite impressed with both, though, clearly, I was rooting for Shao. If my family hadn't been around, I probably would've been voicing aloud my flip-outs and cheers throughout the fight instead of just making faces imitating my emotions. I wanted to yell and gasp and stuff so much!

Even when they were little, I thought the Elmore Wood kids were cool... mainly the guys. I even like all the guys' haircuts! Not really the girls, though. (I know that may be surprising, especially since Older Fredrika has a cat hoodie...) Go Kyle, Shao, and Van!

So, of course, it turns out that volume 17 is the last one... I think the ending wasn't that bad. I think the final version of Melzez was so cool, so that made me happy. (Just staring at Ageha while using it is like "Whoooooaaaaa...." *look of awe*)

One thing I didn't like about the series, though, was the pairing between Ageha and Amamiya. I mean, of course it was expected since they're the main guy and girl, but it seemed... forced. Like, from what I remember, their relationship just seemed way platonic until near the end when all of a sudden Amamiya's other side is saying she loves him. It just isn't really... believable to me. I dunno, that's what I think. It wasn't realistic. *shrug*

Yesterday there was a wedding at the church. It was cute. *little smile* We expected more dancing, though. The missionaries were the ones rocking it the most, and they were just kinda dancing in one spot by the wall when they thought no one was really looking.

Last thing: I broke my glasses. I broke my own glasses. They broke because of my own stupidity.

For why?

I sat on them. *deflates all the way to the ground in self-deprecation* We ordered new pairs yesterday, but until they arrive I have to wear my second pair, the one that was too small on me. That sucks.

Past and Present

Hello world!

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

-Abraham Lincoln

Part of the Young Women's lesson in church today involved inspiration quotes, and this was one that I liked a lot. I also shared a few that I had in my iPod Notes and one off the top of my head that I rediscovered last week: "Rage works when reason won't."

How'd I rediscover this? Well, last Sunday, I, for some reason, wanted to visit my Facebook timeline... It doesn't have much from recently, but I could hardly remember any of the older stuff that I posted. I basically skimmed through the entire thing. Yes, my entire timeline. I've only had an account for... 3 years? More accumulated during those 3 years than I imagined.

It was when I was seeing what kinds of stuff I used to post when I was younger that I realized...

When my sister said that I was annoying when I was 12... She was right. I mean, I was annoying my future self.

I hadn't remembered that I complained, that I demanded, and mainly let out my ugly side on my statuses... No wonder people usually didn't pay attention to my rantings.

At least, on this blog, if I go off on a tangent about why I don't like something, I'm mainly anonymous and you're reading this because you want to. But I let my frustrations out on Facebook- mainly about people on Facebook! Not calling someone out specifically, but complaining because people wouldn't comment on what I shared, or they'd have FB games and not actually play them or- I am serious about this last one- how, for some reason, I was annoyed by how everyone was starting their statuses with "Truth is..." or "Tbh..." That is still annoying, actually, though it's not so common now.

I found one status that I didn't remembered posting, but reading it broke my heart. The only sad thing I ever wrote (unless talking about "Flowers for Algernon" making me cry counts as sad). It was about how my sis kept receiving Skype calls and texts and everything from her old friends, and I wasn't getting anything. (I'm assuming this was either while we lived in Mexico or when we came back from Mexico.)

I'll admit, I don't depend on having friends as much as my sis does. She had a really hard time in our previous move because, since she'd already graduated, she didn't really have many chances to make new friends, and her old friends were usually too busy to be chatting with her by phone in some form.

The time I had a hard time friend-wise was when I was doing online school. Not because I couldn't really talk with my classmates face to face, but because I knew it was so easy to hang out with my old friends- whose school was across the street from my house- and I'm pretty sure they knew I was around too, but they'd just... dropped me. They never sent me a text, and I only chatted for a few minutes with one or two at some point that year...

They didn't pay any attention to me.

Yeah, that kinda hurt.

I remember well how it felt in that point in my life. I still am a bit bitter about it every time something reminds me of them. But I realized a long time ago that, if I'd always felt that I had to really work for their attention, I just shouldn't even bother.

Sorry about the sob story. Could've at least been a better sob story.

But hey! Yesterday we were at a car place to replace the tires on the minivan, and a really annoying kids show came on eventually, something about a girl named Luna going on "scientific" adventures with her little brother Jupiter and their weird pet ferret...

It was when we got home that I realized why one of her stupid songs sounded familiar... The NMA theme song. The one that goes "What is going on? I don't have the slightest clue! I just slapped a cow!" She has a song that starts with "What's happening here?" I don't exactly remember the words for the rest of it since this was my first time encountering Luna, but the tune was certainly the same, or at least similar... Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

I always wondered how the NMA creator came up with such a random theme song... This somehow makes sense.

Though Luna bugs the poo out of me. Her voice grates on my eardrums and my nerves. Just like 2003 anime Envy... Both make me want to punch them every time they speak. And punch them hard.

Okay, I guess it sounds a little wrong that I want to punch a little girl character, even if she's so much worse than Dora or Barbie... But don't even look so surprised at the mentioning of Envy. His Brotherhood counterpart isn't exactly any better, but at least I can deal with his voice. But the 2003 Envy just has something in the way he talks that gets me all riled up. If absolutely nothing else about Envy's character annoyed me, he'd still be ruined by his voice.

Wow, I should probably have talked about something important by now. Like... *drumroll* My first day of school!

I was a little surprised by kids at school. I thought the girls at girls camp were pretty nice, so the rest of the kids would be kinda like that... but they actually weren't as friendly as I imagined. I mean, not that anyone said anything mean, they just didn't really say... anything. I know I didn't make matters any better because I was generally being shy (but I can't help it, that's who I am!), but I tried to at least look like I was up for talking to someone if they wanted to say hi...

I met two girls that were new that year, too, and they were both from California, which was a little odd. They both seem nice and cool, but the second one could be... less ranty? I know that sounds hypocritical since I rant all day on this blog, but she quickly got into the ranting when I'd just barely met her. She's also a bit... uh... Sweary the Swan, especially when she's having a bad day. I get that that's how some people are, but then she was telling me that I should start swearing. *disbelieving look* Um, excuse me? "Hi, I just barely met you, and I'm gonna warn you you're gonna hear me cuss a lot, but you should try it too because it's so liberating!" No.

As much as I like her, if she keeps being like that, I don't think I can hang with her much. And that makes me feel worse because this was a big move for her and she was having a hard time on her first days of school here, trying to find friends and her classes and stuff.

I generally like my teachers, even when they do things like ask specifically for composition notebooks despite us having bought a bunch of spirals... it's mainly the students. I can already tell there's a few classes where people just really don't want to work. Even though that's disappointing and distracting at times, I can usually still get along with my own work just fine- but then teachers want us to do group work. So...

not much gets done. Even if I could do all the work by myself and let everyone take the credit, I am not going to. I just hope these people don't make my grade drop.

Why are teachers such firm believers in making us do partner and group work? It almost always sucks. Butts. I could get a lot more done just being by myself!

Also, the way students dress is a little... yeeeeeeee. As far as I can tell, there's not much of a dress code. That's partly awesome because I can now wear hats to school (FINALLY!) but it also means girls are wearing tank tops and crop tops and short-shorts and dresses that are so hiked up you feel uncomfortable looking at them, knowing it wouldn't take much to see their underwear... As annoying as dress code can be, there's still gotta be some rules.

I hope that, as the year goes on, I start liking this school more, and my grades will stay up. I hope I can also at least make one or two good friends... If not, I can always bring library books, FMA volumes, or work on my writing and drawing. I should be doing all that anyways.

Speaking of- today I started reading The Secrets of the Immortal Nicolas Flamel by Michael Scott (this cracked me up since I first saw the author's name after we'd recently finished watching The Office). So far it's cool. If gives me a Kane Chronicles vibe, but it also has fantasy that I was already familiar with from AQ... and alchemy!~ I am about halfway through the first book.

I've also read the first two books of Dororo and the first of To Terra. Both are interesting, and not quite what I expected at first...

Book reviews over. I'll post a pic or two next week! K bai!

Stahp With the Makeup Already, Wii!

Hi world!

Today, I turn 16+1/12! ...Because it's exactly a month after my b-day.

Also today, there were 6 missionaries over for dinner, plus an elderly sister. 10 people in total. There wasn't enough seats, since we only have 4 chairs and 4 recliners. Our poor apartment has never been this crowded.

My sis went back to Utah again, but only for a few weeks to visit friends. Her future is very unsure, just like the rest of ours... But decisions have to be made NOW, in her case. I'm hoping she'll have chosen where/when she goes to college and stuff when she comes back. There's also the chance she's gonna have a new boyfriend... which seems a bit cruel considering my bro is coming back form his mission in just a few months. I'd been really hoping they'd work it out, cuz I could easily imagine him as my brother-in-law. Guess that's not happening. *tear*

I'd decided I'll watch Enchanted and Tangled while she's gone, because it'd be hard to convince her to watch them with me outside of my birthday, especially cuz it turns out neither of them are on Netflix... I'll have to try on Hulu. I kept forgetting to last week, though, so I'm really hoping I manage to get myself to do it tomorrow or maybe the day after.

In a few days school starts! I was actually a bit excited about it a few weeks ago, but now that it's almost time I'm just plain nervous. Didn't help that a few days ago, when my mom and I went to double-check we had everything ready paperwork-wise, the counselor wasn't the friendliest. *sweatdrop* The setup of the school is also kinda weird. I'm gonna end up doing a lot of running around between classes. *aw, man!*

My backpack is cute. It's actually from Tommy Hilfiger, but we got it at Ross for a much more decent price. I had really wanted to put pins and keychains on it, but I got really nervous about them falling off or being stolen... I ended up putting two pins (hopefully ones that cannot be stolen easily) and my rabbit's foot keychain I got in 4th grade. I dunno why, but I've always like my rabbit's foot. I think, when I got it, I didn't realize it was actually real for a while. By the point I figured it out, I liked it too much to be discouraged and grossed out by its realness. I haven't used the keychain in a long time, though, and I decided to put it on my new backpack. Some extra luck wouldn't hurt, right?

I had also put my old chibi Al keychain on (and found a keyring to use instead of the broken clasp thing!), but I was super nervous about that since it cost way too much and is the only FMA merch I have besides my books. I eventually found the solution, though. There's a zipper in the back of the main pocket, and I attached the keychain there instead. I'm still carrying Al around with me, and no one would know he's there unless I purposefully opened up my bag to show his location, which I probably won't do for anyone (unless they seem like a trustworthy friend and FMA fan).

I learned that Scaehime stills plays Wii games often, which sort of inspired/encouraged me to play my own Wii games again. I hadn't played some of these games in soooooo long!

I started with Disney Universe, since I'd had it for months and still not actually played it. *sweatdrop* It wasn't that bad, but I think it'd be funner to play with someone. It's meant to be a game played by a group, so...

I then played Wii Sports Resort and some DJ Hero. *record scratching* I love that game so much- both the first and second version.

My last playing of the Wii last week was with Michael Jackson: The Experience, and I actually played with my mom! She wants me to start doing exercise again, especially since I won't have PE anymore (I AM FREEEEE!~), and knows I really don't like exercise machines, but don't mind as much dance (as long as I don't end up pushing myself too hard). I hope we end up playing together a lot more often, because I love this game and my mom wants to exercise and learn MJ moves! It'd be a way for us to spend more time together, too. Maybe I can get her to try games on Wii Sports too... *light scheming*

Yesterday, me and my parents down downtown again. I like downtown here. You're more likely to see food trucks, street performers, art, and all that other stuff that Keeps Portland Strange. *rimshot*

We found some food trucks that were interesting. One had pure dumplings, but different flavors that had nothing to do with each other, yet were all really good. The only prob, Bob, is that it'd take a LOT of dumplings to get full. So, that was just part of our lunch.

There was also a- wait for it- Transylvanian food truck. I know! WHAT?!

It was actually really good. I'd like to try more stuff from their menu sometime.

After lunch, we headed toward the mall. My mom had us stop at Sephora, and there found some colorful eyeliners that actually looked kinda cool (for eyeliners... *psh*). She tried one on herself, then (to by begrudgement- I know that's not a word, but deal with it!) put some on me.

Have I mentioned I don't like makeup?

I just feel... like I don't like what I look like with makeup. I am perfectly fine with my face the way it is without anything on it. At all. That's why my mom and sister can only manage to get makeup on me for performances, costumes, and maaaaybe a special occasion.

I think it's a little unfair that they're always ragging on me for not wearing any makeup. Even my dad complains. In fact, he might be the one that complains the most. And the way he does it just sounds rude to me. You do realize you're talking to your daughter, right?!

And it's not just what I look like with makeup on, it's also such a pain to put on and take off, especially take off.

I also sort of worry that, if I did eventually start wearing makeup, I'd forget I have it on and start rubbing my eye or something and mess it up and get makeup on my hands and ugh. One of the things I don't like about makeup- I don't have the freedom of touching my own face as I please! I don't even want to think of what'll happen if I end up crying someday for whatever reason.

My mom was really considering buying the blue eyeliner for me, but I managed to convince her no, because she wanted to get me to put it on myself! OFTEN! I'm sorry, Mom, but am I really gonna do that of my own free will unless it was part of a Halloween costume? No, I'm not. I don't want makeup. I rarely use the two lipsticks I already have, even less that perfume I was given when I was little.

(No, wait- I think I realized what my true problem is. I feel like I don't even look like me anymore with makeup on. I look like I'm trying to be someone else, and I'm not trying to be someone else. I want to be me, Lily, lilaclily00. Even the tiniest amount makes me feel like I'm masking my real face, even though makeup is supposed to "enhance your natural beauty" or something. I don't like feeling like that. That's the deepest reason for my dislike of makeup and things related to it.)

*deep sigh* I feel like my family tries to pressure me into doing stuff I sincerely don't want to do, and it tends to be difficult to explain why I don't want to do that. I really love my family, but I don't really say much about my mom's, my dad's, or my sister's decisions, so why are they so bugged by mine? It's not a horrible thing to not want to dye my hair or wear freaking eyeliner and lipgloss, so what is the big deal?!

Rant's over. And so is this post. Bai.