Hello world!
I gave a talk, and I already posted it. It's mostly Spanish.
Also, I somehow, for some weird reason, had inspiration to write a song. It's weird because I suck at writing songs. They're harder than poems. Even weirder because I was inspired to write it based off of FMA. While I need to work out kinks out in some places, mainly the second verse, I think it's actually a cool song that could be liked by other people, although basically every line is a reference to some element of the story. That's the thing titled "Suitcase" that I posted. (For some reason, while writing and revising, I kept thinking of the song "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson...
I actually have a lot of other stuff to do, but at the moment I'm a little distracted by Darkrai ATTEMPTING SUICIDE LAST FRIDAY so I am just push all that to next week. Bai.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Suitcase
Back when we were kids
And did crazy kid things
We made an error
And that error was ourselves
The haunting consequences
Still affect us to this day
And punish me and my head
Always
All we lost we're trying to regain
Who knew it would end up this way?
(Chorus:)
Burn this house down to the ground, ground, ground
Pick up that suitcase, it's all we have now
We'll walk a path
without our past
And try to not look back
Draw a circle, that means unity
But what happened to our family?
It got cut up with a knife, straight at the heart
Like the piece of pie
I promised you'll have when we finally go back
Back to the place where there is people waiting for us
Place of our past we could never forget anyway
But until then
It hasn't been long enough for us to turn around
And face the crowd and their disappointed frowns
We need to see if what we're looking for is really out there
(Chorus)
I pushed you into this
So why do you still trust me?
Though it feels like I hurt every single person we meet
And I fail to help those in need
I'll do my hardest to focus on one thing
And that is to help you
Be alright
(Chorus x2)
Why are they crying?
We shouldn't be sympathized
So much since we can't cry ourselves
Tonight
We burned this house down
Carried our suitcase around
We've only got each other
Right now
Gratitud al Padre Celestial
Hola, hermanos y hermanas. Este es mi primer discurso, entonces espero que está bien... y espero que es mi último.
¿Porque debemos agradecer?
El ser agradecido nos hace más felices. Todos tenemos momentos en que nos enfocamos en los eventos malos, pero, cuando damos gracias por las cosas buenas que Dios nos ha dado, ya no pensamos tanto en las cargas pesadas. Si mostramos que reconocemos nuestras bendiciones, (porque Dios nos ha dado muchísimas bendiciones cuando podía sólo no darnos nada,) y damos gracias por las bendiciones recibidas, Él nos da todavía más, como dice en Doctrina y Convenios 78:19: El que reciba todas las cosas con gratitud será glorificado; y le serán añadidas las cosas de esta tierra, hasta cien tantos, sí, y más.
¿Entonces, como podemos tener lo que se llama "attitude of gratitude," o "actitud de gratitud?" Como mostramos nuestro gratitud? La forma más simple es orar.
Para prepararme para este discurso, cada noche hice una oración donde di gracias por todos las bendiciones que yo podía recordar. No era difícil, y sólo haciendo eso yo pude ver que soy más bendecida de lo que pensé.
El diezmo también es un manera. Por el diezmo, mostramos a Dios que sabemos que todas nuestras cosas son de Él, y si regresamos sólo un poquito de todo eso, Él se goza y nos da más otra vez.
Podemos ir al templo. ¡Imagina cuánto Dios goza cuando vamos a Su casa para ser convenios, e imagina el agradecimiento de las personas que ayudes si haces bautismos por los muertos!
La forma más importante es seguir los mandamientos. Si los seguimos, mostramos que amamos, respetamos, y agradecemos nuestro Padre Celestial, y entonces vamos a seguir sus reglas.
¿Y qué si piensas que no tienes nada para agradecer?
El mejor ejemplo está en la Biblia. Cuando Job, un profeta, perdió TODO- su trabajo, sus posesiones, su familia, y su salud- hasta cuando el sintió que iba a morir, todavía dio gracias a Dios que él tenía un testimonio.
A todos nos toca pasar por cosas difíciles, en la escuela, el trabajo, la familia, el salud, lo que sea. Si tienes problemas de dinero, agradece que tienes amigos en este barrio que siempre quieren ayudar como pueden. Si tienes problemas recordando cosas, (como nuestra familia,) agradece por las memorias que sí tienes. Si sientes que de plano no puedes aprender el inglés, agradece que puedes hablar el español. If you can't speak Spanish, be grateful you can speak English! Agradece que Dios nos da la oportunidad de venir a la tierra para aprender y crecer. Agradece que puedes ser mejor de carácter hoy comparado a ayer. Agradece que Jesús vive y que hizo el sacrificio de la Expiación por nosotros. Agradece que la iglesia verdadera está restaurado y tienes un testimonio que es verdad. Si no tienes testimonio, agradece que hay maneras para que puedes obtenerlo.
Yo sé que todos podemos tener el "actitud de gratitud," que podemos ser más felices, y podemos sentirnos más cerca al Padre Celestial. Yo sé que esta iglesia es verdadera, y el Libro de Mormón es la palabra de Dios. Yo sé que Jose Smith sí tuvo la Primera Visión y vio al Padre y el Hijo. Yo sé que Thomas S. Monson es un profeta verdadero llamado por Dios para ser el líder de la iglesia. Sé que todos somos hijos del Padre Celestial y que nos ama mucho. Digo estas cosas en el nombre de Jesucristo, amén.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Bratja
Hello world!
Okay, I took the PSAT. That was not very fun. Especially because it was the 15th, AKA Tie Day, as one of my friends called it. I also missed half of my classes, but I think I'm pretty much caught up already. Aaaaaaaand I just found out yesterday online that all the 10th graders are taking the PLAN this week. *sigh* Couldn't I have been warned? Are they going to prep us for this at all?
I drew a picture on the back of another science assignment. *nervous chuckle* I had already done so for a few of my science things last term, but they weren't as big as the ones in the second term so far. (Speaking of, I got A+s on all my report card! *little dance in my seat*) Every once in a while I do small doodles of heads in math too, but I don't really do it elsewhere. Is it strange I draw in only certain classes? And that the size of the drawings depends on the class too?
*sigh* I was thinking once again of what I would love a guy to do when I start dating. This actually comes up in my head pretty often. I mean, what is cuter and more romantic than a serenade? Whether a guy can actually sing well or play an instrument or do neither, just the fact that he would have the guts to sing a song to me would melt my heart. (No boomboxes. I would not like that at all.)
I've even thought of a few songs that would work. I usually think of (and used in the pic) "Oh, Fionna" from Adventure Time. You know, the one where Prince Gumball sings to Fionna in the first genderbend episode? That song was really sweet, even if it wasn't actually him. I tip my hat to the Ice Queen for pulling that off. *tips hat that came out of nowhere* Another option could be just about anything from Juan Gabriel. My favorite is "Inocente Pobre Amigo", even though it is the complete opposite of romantic. *laughs* That song is practically BASHING the girl, actually, which I love. It can sound really romantic (in my opinion) if sung right. A white guy probably wouldn't be able to do that, though; it would have to be a native Spanish speaker.
The prob, Bob, is that we don't have a balcony. We'll be moving to an apartment next year, though, so maybe we will. ...But then it might annoy the neighbors... Whatever. He doesn't have to do it like a classic serenade, it can just be with us sitting together when we are alone after school or on a park bench or something. Just SING TO ME! You don't even need a guitar (or ukulele. ...What? That would work too)!
..;With that out the way, let's continue.
Considering I failed to draw my head last week, I decided to draw again. I also wanted to try drawing a side braid, since I have one often nowadays. It was a bit harder for me to actually draw it; it seems the rectangle eyes I do for myself are going away. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing! *sob*
I can't really draw myself with a different kind of eye (besides just dots) and it'll feel like it's actually me. That drawing with braid buns last week? That's almost me. The face just doesn't seem like me, so... I don't know.
I bet I know what Future Me is thinking with the braids! *smirk* EDWARD ELRIC!
I finally finished watching the 2003 FMA series yesterday! (It's all because of the Pandora Hearts! *hmph*) I noticed that the last episode was trying harder to make a happy ending than I remembered, so I felt a bit better than the first time around. I also realized they put in more hints that this wasn't really the end and started introducing the elements of the movie. And I really want to watch Conqueror of Shamballa now! *fidgety* But, since I had homework and other stuff that I was doing for the rest of the day, I instead listened to some of the music from the movie while doing my homework. Someone (lepetitchapeauvert) had made a playlist of every single song from the OST of the movie. DANG! That stuff was more dramatic than I realized! There was a lot of orchestra and ominous opera singing. I found two that I particularly liked, (interestingly, they were the saddest sounding ones,) mainly because I heard them throughout the anime and I really liked them. Turns out they were variations on the anime song "Bratja", or "Brothers" in Russian. It's such a pretty and sad song! I want to learn this song on the piano too, especially the section called in the soundtrack videos "The Alchemic World~Two Years Thereafter (17) - Ful". Another one from the playlist is "Sad Resolution~Separation (43) - Fullmetal Alchemist Movie OST".
If/when I learn "Bratja" on the piano, I might even arrange it to combine with "Lacie", because, if done right, they could sound really pretty together. We'll just see how it goes with learning them, first.
Oh, and to commemorate the occasion (and because I seriously felt like DOING something, even it was menial), I decided to braid paper, and found on the internet that, if you use 4 strands instead of 3, you can make a chevron pattern. Aw yeah.
EDWARD ELRIC AND HIS GOLDEN HAIR! THAT HAIR IS SO BEAUTIFUL!
...And this isn't, since I colored half of it with yellow highlighter. *nervous chuckle and shrug*
I cut slips in one of the pages of this journal (the one I got for my birthday from my sister) to keep this braid inside of it. Of course, to make it fit, I had to fold it in half, but oh well.
WOAH! *almost falls out of chair* I nearly forgot! I'm writing a story! ...in SPANISH! If I finish this story (which is an ORIGINAL, not fanfic, mind you), I'm gonna translate the whole thing into English too and post both versions on Wattpad. I'm focusing on just Spanish, though.
I got the idea for this because, according to a lot of FMA fanfic writers, Truth is a total jerk. (You people who have ever read Fullmetal fanfics know what I'm talking about, right?) Like, he/it/whatever is practically torturing the main characters in these stories. I agree that he could be nicer and less creepy, but he isn't crazy or evil!
But, from there, I suddenly thought about what the world would be like if God really was like this cruel Truth. A summary popped out of my head into my iPod Notes app and from there I have continued. This is the revised version of the summary.
In English:
The plot is that, somehow, Mathew (or Matthew? Which looks better?) upsets God and He sends him to another alternate universe. He didn't bother to see where Matt (if characters will use nicknames, then I guess Matthew would make more sense?) ended up, which was His mistake and possible downfall. Why? He sent him to a place where Mathew was able to become a god himself and have as much power as Him, perhaps even more. You can guess crazy stuff will go down, right?
I feel bad about this story because I'm worried that, if I ever showed this to anyone, they would think I am mad at God or something. But I have to keep reassuring myself that I just have to explain the whole thing about Truth and how this is just an alternate universe; you know, a "What if?" story. I'm still nervous about reactions, but not as bad since I actually know where the idea came from and that I can explain the origin.
Last thing! I'd already had FaceQ for a while, but I decided to try making myself in it again (I had done it once when I first got the app), but more accurate.
Look! I'm showing my fandom though the red jacket and Armstrong sparkle (and a hand gesture that kinda reminds me of Colonel Mustang), plus the hat looks similar to the kind of hats I like to wear in real life. (It could look better, but oh well). The face has the large eyes, thickish eyebrows, small nose, and cat-like mouth, since I just love cats so much. Only thing is that I couldn't find hair that looked like mine and worked with the hat on, so I ended up with putting a hairstyle I wear every once in a while. Note that my hair is darker and longer. Also, the skin color is a little off. I am rarely very happy with how games for creating avatars turn out when I'm trying to make something very specific, like myself or a favorite character.
Today, the Young Women performed with the missionaries an arrangement called "The EFY Melody" or something, which combines 2-3 songs into a 9-page piece. Poor Dad was the one that had to play it. We all sounded great, though. My sister also had to give a 5-minute talk at the beginning of Sacrament Meeting, with which she did awesome. But... I have to do a talk myself next week! *horror-movie scream* I hope I don't freak out too much and actually manage to pull together a decent talk. Of course, with a ton of my mom's help.
Okay, I took the PSAT. That was not very fun. Especially because it was the 15th, AKA Tie Day, as one of my friends called it. I also missed half of my classes, but I think I'm pretty much caught up already. Aaaaaaaand I just found out yesterday online that all the 10th graders are taking the PLAN this week. *sigh* Couldn't I have been warned? Are they going to prep us for this at all?
I drew a picture on the back of another science assignment. *nervous chuckle* I had already done so for a few of my science things last term, but they weren't as big as the ones in the second term so far. (Speaking of, I got A+s on all my report card! *little dance in my seat*) Every once in a while I do small doodles of heads in math too, but I don't really do it elsewhere. Is it strange I draw in only certain classes? And that the size of the drawings depends on the class too?
*sigh* I was thinking once again of what I would love a guy to do when I start dating. This actually comes up in my head pretty often. I mean, what is cuter and more romantic than a serenade? Whether a guy can actually sing well or play an instrument or do neither, just the fact that he would have the guts to sing a song to me would melt my heart. (No boomboxes. I would not like that at all.)
I've even thought of a few songs that would work. I usually think of (and used in the pic) "Oh, Fionna" from Adventure Time. You know, the one where Prince Gumball sings to Fionna in the first genderbend episode? That song was really sweet, even if it wasn't actually him. I tip my hat to the Ice Queen for pulling that off. *tips hat that came out of nowhere* Another option could be just about anything from Juan Gabriel. My favorite is "Inocente Pobre Amigo", even though it is the complete opposite of romantic. *laughs* That song is practically BASHING the girl, actually, which I love. It can sound really romantic (in my opinion) if sung right. A white guy probably wouldn't be able to do that, though; it would have to be a native Spanish speaker.
The prob, Bob, is that we don't have a balcony. We'll be moving to an apartment next year, though, so maybe we will. ...But then it might annoy the neighbors... Whatever. He doesn't have to do it like a classic serenade, it can just be with us sitting together when we are alone after school or on a park bench or something. Just SING TO ME! You don't even need a guitar (or ukulele. ...What? That would work too)!
..;With that out the way, let's continue.
Considering I failed to draw my head last week, I decided to draw again. I also wanted to try drawing a side braid, since I have one often nowadays. It was a bit harder for me to actually draw it; it seems the rectangle eyes I do for myself are going away. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing! *sob*
I can't really draw myself with a different kind of eye (besides just dots) and it'll feel like it's actually me. That drawing with braid buns last week? That's almost me. The face just doesn't seem like me, so... I don't know.
I bet I know what Future Me is thinking with the braids! *smirk* EDWARD ELRIC!
I finally finished watching the 2003 FMA series yesterday! (It's all because of the Pandora Hearts! *hmph*) I noticed that the last episode was trying harder to make a happy ending than I remembered, so I felt a bit better than the first time around. I also realized they put in more hints that this wasn't really the end and started introducing the elements of the movie. And I really want to watch Conqueror of Shamballa now! *fidgety* But, since I had homework and other stuff that I was doing for the rest of the day, I instead listened to some of the music from the movie while doing my homework. Someone (lepetitchapeauvert) had made a playlist of every single song from the OST of the movie. DANG! That stuff was more dramatic than I realized! There was a lot of orchestra and ominous opera singing. I found two that I particularly liked, (interestingly, they were the saddest sounding ones,) mainly because I heard them throughout the anime and I really liked them. Turns out they were variations on the anime song "Bratja", or "Brothers" in Russian. It's such a pretty and sad song! I want to learn this song on the piano too, especially the section called in the soundtrack videos "The Alchemic World~Two Years Thereafter (17) - Ful". Another one from the playlist is "Sad Resolution~Separation (43) - Fullmetal Alchemist Movie OST".
If/when I learn "Bratja" on the piano, I might even arrange it to combine with "Lacie", because, if done right, they could sound really pretty together. We'll just see how it goes with learning them, first.
Oh, and to commemorate the occasion (and because I seriously felt like DOING something, even it was menial), I decided to braid paper, and found on the internet that, if you use 4 strands instead of 3, you can make a chevron pattern. Aw yeah.
EDWARD ELRIC AND HIS GOLDEN HAIR! THAT HAIR IS SO BEAUTIFUL!
...And this isn't, since I colored half of it with yellow highlighter. *nervous chuckle and shrug*
I cut slips in one of the pages of this journal (the one I got for my birthday from my sister) to keep this braid inside of it. Of course, to make it fit, I had to fold it in half, but oh well.
WOAH! *almost falls out of chair* I nearly forgot! I'm writing a story! ...in SPANISH! If I finish this story (which is an ORIGINAL, not fanfic, mind you), I'm gonna translate the whole thing into English too and post both versions on Wattpad. I'm focusing on just Spanish, though.
I got the idea for this because, according to a lot of FMA fanfic writers, Truth is a total jerk. (You people who have ever read Fullmetal fanfics know what I'm talking about, right?) Like, he/it/whatever is practically torturing the main characters in these stories. I agree that he could be nicer and less creepy, but he isn't crazy or evil!
But, from there, I suddenly thought about what the world would be like if God really was like this cruel Truth. A summary popped out of my head into my iPod Notes app and from there I have continued. This is the revised version of the summary.
En este mundo, Dios no era el personaje más lindo. De verdad, sentía más como que Él quería matar a todos que nada. Hasta a Él le gustaba mandar a humanos a otros universos alternativos si no era feliz con ellos. Pero, cuando mandó a Mateo a un otro lugar, no vio donde. Ahora, Mateo está en control. Las reglas han cambiado.
In English:
In this world, God wasn't the nicest person in the world. Really, it felt like He wanted to kill everyone more than anything. He even sent humans to other alternate universes when he wasn't happy with them. But, when He sent Mathew to another place, He didn't check where he ended up. Now, Mathew is in control. The rules have changed.
The plot is that, somehow, Mathew (or Matthew? Which looks better?) upsets God and He sends him to another alternate universe. He didn't bother to see where Matt (if characters will use nicknames, then I guess Matthew would make more sense?) ended up, which was His mistake and possible downfall. Why? He sent him to a place where Mathew was able to become a god himself and have as much power as Him, perhaps even more. You can guess crazy stuff will go down, right?
I feel bad about this story because I'm worried that, if I ever showed this to anyone, they would think I am mad at God or something. But I have to keep reassuring myself that I just have to explain the whole thing about Truth and how this is just an alternate universe; you know, a "What if?" story. I'm still nervous about reactions, but not as bad since I actually know where the idea came from and that I can explain the origin.
Last thing! I'd already had FaceQ for a while, but I decided to try making myself in it again (I had done it once when I first got the app), but more accurate.
Look! I'm showing my fandom though the red jacket and Armstrong sparkle (and a hand gesture that kinda reminds me of Colonel Mustang), plus the hat looks similar to the kind of hats I like to wear in real life. (It could look better, but oh well). The face has the large eyes, thickish eyebrows, small nose, and cat-like mouth, since I just love cats so much. Only thing is that I couldn't find hair that looked like mine and worked with the hat on, so I ended up with putting a hairstyle I wear every once in a while. Note that my hair is darker and longer. Also, the skin color is a little off. I am rarely very happy with how games for creating avatars turn out when I'm trying to make something very specific, like myself or a favorite character.
Today, the Young Women performed with the missionaries an arrangement called "The EFY Melody" or something, which combines 2-3 songs into a 9-page piece. Poor Dad was the one that had to play it. We all sounded great, though. My sister also had to give a 5-minute talk at the beginning of Sacrament Meeting, with which she did awesome. But... I have to do a talk myself next week! *horror-movie scream* I hope I don't freak out too much and actually manage to pull together a decent talk. Of course, with a ton of my mom's help.
Monday, October 13, 2014
What I Forgot!
Hello world!
I remembered the stuff I forgot yesterday a few hours later, but by then it was too late to get onto the computer.
First and foremost, I once again want to point out my outfit on Saturday. More specifically, my hairdo. I decided to do braided buns. They worked out awesomely and looked cute! Apparently, buns are one of the only things I'm able to do with my hair. Oh, and side braids.
Yes, the part is a little weird because it started on the left but then went to the middle. I'm sorry the picture could be better, but how often do you take a picture of the back of your head? *tick mark*
I remembered the stuff I forgot yesterday a few hours later, but by then it was too late to get onto the computer.
First and foremost, I once again want to point out my outfit on Saturday. More specifically, my hairdo. I decided to do braided buns. They worked out awesomely and looked cute! Apparently, buns are one of the only things I'm able to do with my hair. Oh, and side braids.
Yes, the part is a little weird because it started on the left but then went to the middle. I'm sorry the picture could be better, but how often do you take a picture of the back of your head? *tick mark*
For the picture, I just did normal buns, cuz trying to draw in the braiding would've looked horrible. But I'm kinda proud of this pic! It looks exactly how I wanted it to! The face probably could look better, but it doesn't seem too wonky, so say yay! *yay*
As I mentioned yesterday, Darkrai (gah, I don't want to call him Activerios- now) is now on Wattpad, and he asked me to get on and look at his stories and stuff and all of a sudden I'm part of a new community and he posts like crazy and I'm freaking out a little! Turns out he is super popular on Wattpad. I mean, I was just on Wattpad at the beginning of the year because one of my freshman friends told me about it. I have a bunch of things in my library on the website, but for some reason it's difficult to actually read them. *sweat drop* I think I like FFN more.
He got me into something where apparently he and and his friends want to break the world record for amount of people who have a Pumpkaboo profile pic on the same website. He got me into it (even though I don't like Pokémon! Although I have to admit that the Pumpkaboo is adorable) and now I'm suddenly talking to more people that are in the cult- I mean group. *sweat drop* I hope this actually catches on so that I can be part of a world record, although I kinda doubt it'll work. Is that even a world record???
Oh yeah, back to actual Wattpad. So, uh, I decided, since apparently there's also RP and stuff on this site too, I'd draw a new profile pic/cover with my characters. This is what I got so far.
I was supposed to draw myself underneath, but for some reason it's not working! Like, it doesn't look like me at all and it's gross and I had to keep erasing it and I decided enough is enough and I just filled space with their names instead. *huff*
Mausu (she doesn't look quite right either, but I don't feel like fixing) has a little mousey at the bottom of her name, of course. I had thought about writing Al's full name, but then that would've taken too much space; then I tried drawing a small symbol instead, but it would've been too small to look good. *shiver*
And then there's Ueki. Not The Law of Ueki Ueki, but the Ueki that I imagine my future son to be. *totally not joking* His full name is either gonna be Danny Ueki or Ueki Zucko (then last name, whatever that will be). Depends on what my future husband prefers. Even if Ueki ends up being his middle name, I'd probably refer to him by it. I put the key there because I thought of something. There might be some people who have issues with trying to pronounce "Ueki" (it seems easy to me, but whatever), so if that happens, his name could be shortened to the "ki" part, or "Key". So, his nickname is Key.
I've been doing a PM RP with Allakai on FFN, and on there I RP as Key, Mausu (they are siblings), and myself. Oh gosh, I'm making myself so freaking weird in the scenes...
Uuuh, next topic!
I've suddenly become re-obsessed with the song "Sunshine and City Lights" by Greyson Chance. I doodled a picture on the back of a science assignment. *blush*
D'aaaawwww!
Last Thursday, there was a choir performance. I have 3-4 friends that participate in one of the choirs, so one asked me to come. I liked plenty of it, although I wish I could hear better the songs that the all-girls choir sung.
At the beginning, the choir that is for amateurs (basically) did two Coldplay songs that I didn't know were from Coldplay! So now I also had "Fix You" stuck in my head. I'm not even sure how it happened, but quickly I started formulation how to do a mashup of "Sunshine and City Lights" and "Fix You". I've only worked out the first verse and chorus, but it sounds awesome, in my opinion. If only I knew how to actually do it on a computer or something... *sigh* It only lives on in my brain...
OH! And on Friday, I tried singing the first line from "Cough Syrup" to one of my choir/musical friends, and suddenly my voice sounded amazing. Usually my voice sounds pretty bad, even though I've been singing a lot more often, especially in public, but I did it and her jaw dropped. I felt like mine was about to drop too. So, uh, I guess we may end up trying to do songs together if we get time or something. Not really sure if she actually plans to do anything with my skillz.
Okay, I think the last thing (sorry, I'm skipping around as I remember) is one of the talks in the Saturday session of the stake conference. She said "If there's anything I want anyone to remember from this talk is this." She asked the stake presidency to stand, then step forward once, then place their right hand on the shoulder of the man next to him. After they sat back down, she said "I want you to remember that my talk uplifted, moved, and touched you." Uplifted (standing up), moved (stepping forward), and touched (hand on shoulder). That was very clever. *laughs loudly* And look! It worked! I remembered that!
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Meet the Mormons
Hello world!
The movie with that title was so amazing! The stories and the people and everything... I don't care if you are atheist or the most devout religious person, everyone can benefit from this movie!
My family watched it yesterday, and after going to Captain D's to try it out (turns out the food is really good), we went to an adult/young adult session of our stake conference, and today was the actual stake conference. The inspiration kept coming, as some of the talks were more conversion stories, and others were about things that I felt I might've needed to hear. Now I'm thinking even more about my patriarchal blessing, for example, but I still feel like I need to wait just a bit longer. Maybe just a few months?
Oh, and I just made this picture with some scripture in a talk from a few weeks ago. I used this one because a lot of talks this month have been about missionary service and being an example.
Despite the title of the post, this is more about other stuff.
I have been having more weird dreams and daydreams. I've always had them in the "very weird and nonsensical" category, but now it's leaning more to the "worried about my sanity". Just thinking about the things I've dreamed about, it scares me a little.
For example, last week, I had a dream where I was kinda put into the same situation as Arnold Schwarzenegger in Junior. I'm not kidding. It wasn't some professional doing it to me, even; it was my dad injecting me. No one except my family knew, apparently. And a good portion of the dream was set in the hospital while I was waiting to give birth to a flippin' baby, so that was a well-kept secret. (I guess I didn't have a noticeably round belly?) Somehow, though, it leaked, and some girl at school asked me if I had a baby, and I said yeah. I did not know how I had a bebe (like, not the me within the dream, but ME...If that makes sense...) until I explained to her everything in this paragraph. Of course, both her and my brain flipped, and the dream me was like "Calm down! This isn't abuse or something!" and tried to explain that me and my whole family somehow thought of doing that, and with prayer, decided it was a good idea. (...?) Like, even my extended family had prayed about it, so, uh... Yeah. It (wait, I think it was a he) was being cared for by my family while I was in school, and so it was kinda a team effort.
Okay, and that wasn't the most disturbing part of this (me willingly getting stuff injected in me and my whole family agreeing with it, I mean). The scene suddenly had changed to the end of one of those house parties from the news and movies that always end horribly. The horrible ending to this one was that everyone was on the ground in the dark, all drugged up. (I did not like the fact that I recognized some of the people here, including this one kid at my school that has awesome hair.) Some cops marched into the house and started searching for people, then just put the stoned teens in handcuffs and was leading them out of the house. One of the cops searching opened some closet, and all the way in the back of it was one person:
Me.
I looked up at the cop and was like "You guys finally got here. That took a while." I didn't really hear specifically what he asked me, but I heard what I said back. It was stuff like "No, I didn't do anything. I've just been in here, eating snacks." (while holding up a cookie package or something) "I tried to stop them, trust me, but by then it was too late." "Haha, are you disappointed you can't arrest me too?" This next sentence was probably affected by The Secret Life of the American Teenage Girl (which I only watched because somehow my sister got obsessed with it): "I got on a junk food binge to see if I could have a big belly again, like when I was pregnant." That statement was accompanied by "It didn't work."
I'm sorry, but watching this stuff, especially when the main character is ME, was horrible. Of course, this had to be one of the only dreams I remember pretty well.
And, of course, the next day, I had a daydream of a certain kind.
The first time was probably a year or two ago, when I was home alone, and I suddenly had the thought: What if a robber broke into the house right at this very moment? The answer to that was that I beat the stuff out of him. One of the greatest daydreams ever.
But then, after that, was when I had my Jeff the Killer dream. Someone breaking into the house.
And, recently, I was in the shower when suddenly some neighbors let off a bunch of fireworks. I did not realize at first what it was and I sincerely thought it was someone banging on my window. I starting imagining all the possible outcomes if it really was that (mainly consisting of a creep breaking my window and killing me in the bathroom- worst part of that is that I died naked), even after I figured out the actual cause of the sounds, and I felt like I was about to cry when I got out of the shower. From that moment on, especially in the bathroom, I imagined more killers breaking in and doing what they do best- chopping off my head or something like that.
What I imagined the next day of my pregnant dream was exactly how I'm about to describe. Across the whole mirror someone wrote "IN THE CLOSET" in blood. (I guess the bathroom closet is supposed to be for towels and stuff, but I use it as my main closet with shirts, pants, etc.) It was opened, and out flew my body onto the ground, stabbed to death or something.
As I thought about it more, more of a story unfolded- one that I doubt is realistic, but part of it is already written.
I don't think I could write a full murder mystery, but I sure could help someone else with the disturbing images.
OKAY! To change the topic!~
Last week was what they call around here the benchmark tests- the tests you take at the end of the term for your different classes. I have to say, I'm most impressed with my score for math.
Physical Science: 94%
World History: 100%
US History I: 93%
English: 84% (How'd I get one so low? *sob*)
Geometry: 100%
Those 100%s are beautiful!
This week is when I take the PSAT. Wish me luck!
Also, I finally decided to try to look up a job- turns out it's called proofreading. Not the book editor, but the person who literally edits the book so that grammar mistakes and typos are taken care of. That is my kind of job.
While it saddens me so that I tend to miss mistakes in my own writing until a while after I've put it online or something, I'm able to find things that are wrong with others' work easily. Mistakes are glaringly obvious in books and online to me. All I want is to be able to fix them! And turns out I could get a career as a proofreader and actually do that!
The main problem with that is that I'd most likely have to be a freelance proofreader, and I'd prefer to have a more steady job. Like an office job, where you go to work every day at the same time, are there for the same hours, then come back home at the same time. That is easier than to try to find jobs here and there from my house, in my opinion.
So, I don't know if that's one of my top career choices, although I'm guessing it would be paired up with being an author, another possible choice. (I doubt I could be good enough to actually get more than one book published, though. My brain juices tend to run out before my longer stories can be completed.)
Some kid that sits behind me in English, when we had one of those days where we don't do much, told me an entire story of what he supposedly is gonna do after high school. It was disturbing in a different way. He told me he wants me to write it all down, because it could become a popular book or something. "A memoir," he described the book as. Two probs, Bob. 1. This memoir of his would contain a lot of stuff I don't want to write about 2. How would I turn it into a full book? I have tried and failed more than once to write a full book! How about he just writes it all down himself so that he can tell it to other people? It would have a better effect if he told it in person, in my opinion.
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting too distracted by Wattpad (turns out I Am Darkrai transferred to there and his name now is Activerios-) and can no longer think of anything I may have planned to say. Hasta la vista, babay!
The movie with that title was so amazing! The stories and the people and everything... I don't care if you are atheist or the most devout religious person, everyone can benefit from this movie!
My family watched it yesterday, and after going to Captain D's to try it out (turns out the food is really good), we went to an adult/young adult session of our stake conference, and today was the actual stake conference. The inspiration kept coming, as some of the talks were more conversion stories, and others were about things that I felt I might've needed to hear. Now I'm thinking even more about my patriarchal blessing, for example, but I still feel like I need to wait just a bit longer. Maybe just a few months?
Oh, and I just made this picture with some scripture in a talk from a few weeks ago. I used this one because a lot of talks this month have been about missionary service and being an example.
Despite the title of the post, this is more about other stuff.
I have been having more weird dreams and daydreams. I've always had them in the "very weird and nonsensical" category, but now it's leaning more to the "worried about my sanity". Just thinking about the things I've dreamed about, it scares me a little.
For example, last week, I had a dream where I was kinda put into the same situation as Arnold Schwarzenegger in Junior. I'm not kidding. It wasn't some professional doing it to me, even; it was my dad injecting me. No one except my family knew, apparently. And a good portion of the dream was set in the hospital while I was waiting to give birth to a flippin' baby, so that was a well-kept secret. (I guess I didn't have a noticeably round belly?) Somehow, though, it leaked, and some girl at school asked me if I had a baby, and I said yeah. I did not know how I had a bebe (like, not the me within the dream, but ME...If that makes sense...) until I explained to her everything in this paragraph. Of course, both her and my brain flipped, and the dream me was like "Calm down! This isn't abuse or something!" and tried to explain that me and my whole family somehow thought of doing that, and with prayer, decided it was a good idea. (...?) Like, even my extended family had prayed about it, so, uh... Yeah. It (wait, I think it was a he) was being cared for by my family while I was in school, and so it was kinda a team effort.
Okay, and that wasn't the most disturbing part of this (me willingly getting stuff injected in me and my whole family agreeing with it, I mean). The scene suddenly had changed to the end of one of those house parties from the news and movies that always end horribly. The horrible ending to this one was that everyone was on the ground in the dark, all drugged up. (I did not like the fact that I recognized some of the people here, including this one kid at my school that has awesome hair.) Some cops marched into the house and started searching for people, then just put the stoned teens in handcuffs and was leading them out of the house. One of the cops searching opened some closet, and all the way in the back of it was one person:
Me.
I looked up at the cop and was like "You guys finally got here. That took a while." I didn't really hear specifically what he asked me, but I heard what I said back. It was stuff like "No, I didn't do anything. I've just been in here, eating snacks." (while holding up a cookie package or something) "I tried to stop them, trust me, but by then it was too late." "Haha, are you disappointed you can't arrest me too?" This next sentence was probably affected by The Secret Life of the American Teenage Girl (which I only watched because somehow my sister got obsessed with it): "I got on a junk food binge to see if I could have a big belly again, like when I was pregnant." That statement was accompanied by "It didn't work."
I'm sorry, but watching this stuff, especially when the main character is ME, was horrible. Of course, this had to be one of the only dreams I remember pretty well.
And, of course, the next day, I had a daydream of a certain kind.
The first time was probably a year or two ago, when I was home alone, and I suddenly had the thought: What if a robber broke into the house right at this very moment? The answer to that was that I beat the stuff out of him. One of the greatest daydreams ever.
But then, after that, was when I had my Jeff the Killer dream. Someone breaking into the house.
And, recently, I was in the shower when suddenly some neighbors let off a bunch of fireworks. I did not realize at first what it was and I sincerely thought it was someone banging on my window. I starting imagining all the possible outcomes if it really was that (mainly consisting of a creep breaking my window and killing me in the bathroom- worst part of that is that I died naked), even after I figured out the actual cause of the sounds, and I felt like I was about to cry when I got out of the shower. From that moment on, especially in the bathroom, I imagined more killers breaking in and doing what they do best- chopping off my head or something like that.
What I imagined the next day of my pregnant dream was exactly how I'm about to describe. Across the whole mirror someone wrote "IN THE CLOSET" in blood. (I guess the bathroom closet is supposed to be for towels and stuff, but I use it as my main closet with shirts, pants, etc.) It was opened, and out flew my body onto the ground, stabbed to death or something.
As I thought about it more, more of a story unfolded- one that I doubt is realistic, but part of it is already written.
I don't think I could write a full murder mystery, but I sure could help someone else with the disturbing images.
OKAY! To change the topic!~
Last week was what they call around here the benchmark tests- the tests you take at the end of the term for your different classes. I have to say, I'm most impressed with my score for math.
Physical Science: 94%
World History: 100%
US History I: 93%
English: 84% (How'd I get one so low? *sob*)
Geometry: 100%
Those 100%s are beautiful!
This week is when I take the PSAT. Wish me luck!
Also, I finally decided to try to look up a job- turns out it's called proofreading. Not the book editor, but the person who literally edits the book so that grammar mistakes and typos are taken care of. That is my kind of job.
While it saddens me so that I tend to miss mistakes in my own writing until a while after I've put it online or something, I'm able to find things that are wrong with others' work easily. Mistakes are glaringly obvious in books and online to me. All I want is to be able to fix them! And turns out I could get a career as a proofreader and actually do that!
The main problem with that is that I'd most likely have to be a freelance proofreader, and I'd prefer to have a more steady job. Like an office job, where you go to work every day at the same time, are there for the same hours, then come back home at the same time. That is easier than to try to find jobs here and there from my house, in my opinion.
So, I don't know if that's one of my top career choices, although I'm guessing it would be paired up with being an author, another possible choice. (I doubt I could be good enough to actually get more than one book published, though. My brain juices tend to run out before my longer stories can be completed.)
Some kid that sits behind me in English, when we had one of those days where we don't do much, told me an entire story of what he supposedly is gonna do after high school. It was disturbing in a different way. He told me he wants me to write it all down, because it could become a popular book or something. "A memoir," he described the book as. Two probs, Bob. 1. This memoir of his would contain a lot of stuff I don't want to write about 2. How would I turn it into a full book? I have tried and failed more than once to write a full book! How about he just writes it all down himself so that he can tell it to other people? It would have a better effect if he told it in person, in my opinion.
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting too distracted by Wattpad (turns out I Am Darkrai transferred to there and his name now is Activerios-) and can no longer think of anything I may have planned to say. Hasta la vista, babay!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Self-Reflection
Hello world!
My writing style this week might be influenced by works mentioned throughout the post. (Also, maybe a little by A Narration of the Captivity and Restoring of Mary Rowlandson. The greatest discussion question my English teacher brought up was "If she is such a devout Christian, why is she so biased towards the Native Americans?" *ooooooooooh* *aw snap*)
I just think it is so perfect that that was what I read in my daily scripture study last night, since it is GENERAL CONFERENCE WEEKEND!~ *cheering*
Once again, this was a very inspiring and Spirit-filled weekend. I got the prompting during the first session to send a text to Blondie, inviting her to watch it too. She was on vacation in a mountain or something, so maybe I'll remind her to watch the recordings online sometime or something. I feel that she would really like them.
Holland got me tearing up during his talk! *sniff* He sounded so... what I can only describe as 'heart-broken'. I think I'm more willing to do service now, and I plan to give most of my birthday money along with my family's tithing. $20 is little, but it can still make a difference, right?
I was also reminded during Martinez's talk in the last session that I had a thought recently of getting my patriarchal blessing before 11th grade. I think I'll be ready for it by the beginning of next year.
I spent a lot of yesterday doing and thinking. My mom gave me Things Not Seen by Andrew Clemens (which is a crazy good book), so I read that throughout the day. After the Saturday sessions, we went to a nearby neighborhood that we MIGHT live in in the future (and bought some awesome tamales), where we just chatted on a porch swing by a small lake inside (cuz that's just how they roll in the South) and were followed by baby ducks (and their mommas). When we came back, I did my homework. Then, I did something that I'd actually not done before: researched colleges online.
This was brought about because 2 or 3 weeks ago the counselor came into our English class to talk to us about preparing for college, and at the last slide she had websites for deciding which college to go to and/or find scholarships. She also mentioned that there was to be a PSAT soon. Once upon a time, I would have just ignored the PSAT, but I'm different now. I realized that if I don't really plan to do any other stuff to really prepare for graduation besides studying for big tests, I should at least do this to make sure I'll be okay. So all last week, after I gave the counselor some money, she gave me a practice test (practice test for the practice test, ha), which I completed throughout last week during study hall. I really did not do as good on it as I was hoping.
But, besides the PSAT, I did get the message that I need to start preparing more for my future. I had to look at a college for a Career Prep assignment, and did BYU (even though it's on the other side of the country) since I had always figured I'd probably go to it or some other school in Utah, and I felt a little more interested in finding the information on it than I would have been just maybe a few months ago.
Yesterday, I decided to look at some of the websites given by the counselor. On one, I was able to compare a few of the colleges in Utah, and I felt a little more convinced by the information on BYU, so, unless I suddenly find some other college before I graduate that I feel the strong urge that it's the right one, I'm going to BYU in a few years!
While I feel a little better about where I was gonna go, I've lately been more anxious about what I'm gonna do. The only career I have thought of throughout my life is to be a teacher. I can't imagine doing anything else. But what if it turns out that I can't handle talking in front of a group for hours a day? Or that I actually can't teach well? (I have managed to explain some concepts for people, but other things I couldn't, which doesn't seem like a good sign.) Since my mom knows I'm starting to worry more about my future life decisions, she told me to try looking at other careers too.
Musician, voice actor, singer, writer, geneticist. I have an interest in all of these, but not enough to make it my job, plus I'm pretty sure I would get less pay in the end. And I literally can't think of anything else I want to do with my life.
I just hope that in a few years of change and growth I'll be more comfortable teaching or I'll suddenly discover something I love and can change my career path quickly.
Have you noticed what I've been mentioning throughout this post? Past, present, future. Change.
After I finished my homework and minimal college research, then finished the book (throughout the book, I noticed that the main character often mentioned that going through those experiences had changed him drastically) while listening to a playlist of mellower songs (mellow compared to the rest of my song list, but it still can get kinda loud), I continued listening to the music, and looked to my iPod. I decided to make sure my Drive and Blogger apps are updated so that I wouldn't have to go through all the trouble of logging in and stuff if I ever actually had to go in fast sometime. I ended up skimming through some of my old content on both of them, and then I wondered what I had written last October on this blog. So I went to it.
Yesterday, it was Oct 4, (Before I forget, I have finally celebrated my first Oct. 3 as an FMAniac! Too bad I had not realized it until it was mentioned on a story update on FFN...) and there are two posts on Oct. 4, 2013, exactly one year ago. That day I excitedly wrote that I started drawing Mausu Mumei during school, read a cool Danny Phantom fancomic (then wanted to kill the author since they didn't FINISH it), and that my Adventure Time fanart was displayed on a Facebook page.
Wow. That feels like it was forever ago.
I noticed a difference in the style of writing, the topics; just a different period of my life. My deepest characteristics, such as generally being shy (but then talking a lot if I'm just with one person), have always remained the same, but I constantly change. I have changed, I change every day, and will continue to change. Just seeing who I was a year ago, it almost doesn't seem like ME anymore. And if I look back at this post in one year, I'll probably say the same thing again. (Okay, maybe I don't change THAT much.)
Maybe I'll be ready for the adult world within a few years, but at the moment, I'm not. I sort of don't like knowing that I will have to change for that to happen, since I have seen other people change and did not like it, but it has to happen.
Thinking about what I was going to write in this post, still a little worried about my future, and still listening to music, the next song to come on was "For the Weight of Us." At that moment, I mentally changed the words to "For the Weight of Me." I'm not ready for the weight of future me. No, I don't think I'm ready for the future, period.
As to the future, I'm not just worried about school. I sat with Blondie's little brother on the bus after school, and he told me that he felt that the ISIS stuff going on means Jesus is almost here. And he felt he was ready for it, without a doubt. The excited look on his face for the Second Coming surprised me a little, a kid who's 12 but looks younger, being so confident about something like this.
I didn't know if this should've inspired me to be more confident in myself and my preparation too or worry more about whether we all really are ready for it.
This title might not seem totally relevant to the content, but it is to me. Thinking about this stuff really made me look within myself and try to find my changes and my good qualities, the part of me that felt confident and proud of my abilities.
I promise I'm not depressed or anything close to it, I just have less self-esteem when it comes to certain things...
I almost forgot! I've recently gotten more interested in piano music again. After I finished Pandora Hearts (Why is it just one season?! *sob*), I decided to find sheet music to play "Lacie", the song from the watch. Once our old keyboard is fixed and/or we sell it and get a newer one, I'm gonna start trying to play it, at least the right hand. The melody is just so pretty.
My writing style this week might be influenced by works mentioned throughout the post. (Also, maybe a little by A Narration of the Captivity and Restoring of Mary Rowlandson. The greatest discussion question my English teacher brought up was "If she is such a devout Christian, why is she so biased towards the Native Americans?" *ooooooooooh* *aw snap*)
1 Behold, thus saith the Lord unto you my servants, it is expedient in me that the [members] of my church should be called together, from the east and from the west, and from the north and from the south, by letter or some other way.
2 And it shall come to pass that inasmuch as they are faithful, and exercise faith in me, I will pour out my Spirit upon them in the day that they assemble themselves together.
(D&C 44:1-2)
I just think it is so perfect that that was what I read in my daily scripture study last night, since it is GENERAL CONFERENCE WEEKEND!~ *cheering*
Once again, this was a very inspiring and Spirit-filled weekend. I got the prompting during the first session to send a text to Blondie, inviting her to watch it too. She was on vacation in a mountain or something, so maybe I'll remind her to watch the recordings online sometime or something. I feel that she would really like them.
Holland got me tearing up during his talk! *sniff* He sounded so... what I can only describe as 'heart-broken'. I think I'm more willing to do service now, and I plan to give most of my birthday money along with my family's tithing. $20 is little, but it can still make a difference, right?
I was also reminded during Martinez's talk in the last session that I had a thought recently of getting my patriarchal blessing before 11th grade. I think I'll be ready for it by the beginning of next year.
I spent a lot of yesterday doing and thinking. My mom gave me Things Not Seen by Andrew Clemens (which is a crazy good book), so I read that throughout the day. After the Saturday sessions, we went to a nearby neighborhood that we MIGHT live in in the future (and bought some awesome tamales), where we just chatted on a porch swing by a small lake inside (cuz that's just how they roll in the South) and were followed by baby ducks (and their mommas). When we came back, I did my homework. Then, I did something that I'd actually not done before: researched colleges online.
This was brought about because 2 or 3 weeks ago the counselor came into our English class to talk to us about preparing for college, and at the last slide she had websites for deciding which college to go to and/or find scholarships. She also mentioned that there was to be a PSAT soon. Once upon a time, I would have just ignored the PSAT, but I'm different now. I realized that if I don't really plan to do any other stuff to really prepare for graduation besides studying for big tests, I should at least do this to make sure I'll be okay. So all last week, after I gave the counselor some money, she gave me a practice test (practice test for the practice test, ha), which I completed throughout last week during study hall. I really did not do as good on it as I was hoping.
But, besides the PSAT, I did get the message that I need to start preparing more for my future. I had to look at a college for a Career Prep assignment, and did BYU (even though it's on the other side of the country) since I had always figured I'd probably go to it or some other school in Utah, and I felt a little more interested in finding the information on it than I would have been just maybe a few months ago.
Yesterday, I decided to look at some of the websites given by the counselor. On one, I was able to compare a few of the colleges in Utah, and I felt a little more convinced by the information on BYU, so, unless I suddenly find some other college before I graduate that I feel the strong urge that it's the right one, I'm going to BYU in a few years!
While I feel a little better about where I was gonna go, I've lately been more anxious about what I'm gonna do. The only career I have thought of throughout my life is to be a teacher. I can't imagine doing anything else. But what if it turns out that I can't handle talking in front of a group for hours a day? Or that I actually can't teach well? (I have managed to explain some concepts for people, but other things I couldn't, which doesn't seem like a good sign.) Since my mom knows I'm starting to worry more about my future life decisions, she told me to try looking at other careers too.
Musician, voice actor, singer, writer, geneticist. I have an interest in all of these, but not enough to make it my job, plus I'm pretty sure I would get less pay in the end. And I literally can't think of anything else I want to do with my life.
I just hope that in a few years of change and growth I'll be more comfortable teaching or I'll suddenly discover something I love and can change my career path quickly.
Have you noticed what I've been mentioning throughout this post? Past, present, future. Change.
After I finished my homework and minimal college research, then finished the book (throughout the book, I noticed that the main character often mentioned that going through those experiences had changed him drastically) while listening to a playlist of mellower songs (mellow compared to the rest of my song list, but it still can get kinda loud), I continued listening to the music, and looked to my iPod. I decided to make sure my Drive and Blogger apps are updated so that I wouldn't have to go through all the trouble of logging in and stuff if I ever actually had to go in fast sometime. I ended up skimming through some of my old content on both of them, and then I wondered what I had written last October on this blog. So I went to it.
Yesterday, it was Oct 4, (Before I forget, I have finally celebrated my first Oct. 3 as an FMAniac! Too bad I had not realized it until it was mentioned on a story update on FFN...) and there are two posts on Oct. 4, 2013, exactly one year ago. That day I excitedly wrote that I started drawing Mausu Mumei during school, read a cool Danny Phantom fancomic (then wanted to kill the author since they didn't FINISH it), and that my Adventure Time fanart was displayed on a Facebook page.
Wow. That feels like it was forever ago.
I noticed a difference in the style of writing, the topics; just a different period of my life. My deepest characteristics, such as generally being shy (but then talking a lot if I'm just with one person), have always remained the same, but I constantly change. I have changed, I change every day, and will continue to change. Just seeing who I was a year ago, it almost doesn't seem like ME anymore. And if I look back at this post in one year, I'll probably say the same thing again. (Okay, maybe I don't change THAT much.)
Maybe I'll be ready for the adult world within a few years, but at the moment, I'm not. I sort of don't like knowing that I will have to change for that to happen, since I have seen other people change and did not like it, but it has to happen.
Thinking about what I was going to write in this post, still a little worried about my future, and still listening to music, the next song to come on was "For the Weight of Us." At that moment, I mentally changed the words to "For the Weight of Me." I'm not ready for the weight of future me. No, I don't think I'm ready for the future, period.
As to the future, I'm not just worried about school. I sat with Blondie's little brother on the bus after school, and he told me that he felt that the ISIS stuff going on means Jesus is almost here. And he felt he was ready for it, without a doubt. The excited look on his face for the Second Coming surprised me a little, a kid who's 12 but looks younger, being so confident about something like this.
I didn't know if this should've inspired me to be more confident in myself and my preparation too or worry more about whether we all really are ready for it.
This title might not seem totally relevant to the content, but it is to me. Thinking about this stuff really made me look within myself and try to find my changes and my good qualities, the part of me that felt confident and proud of my abilities.
I promise I'm not depressed or anything close to it, I just have less self-esteem when it comes to certain things...
I almost forgot! I've recently gotten more interested in piano music again. After I finished Pandora Hearts (Why is it just one season?! *sob*), I decided to find sheet music to play "Lacie", the song from the watch. Once our old keyboard is fixed and/or we sell it and get a newer one, I'm gonna start trying to play it, at least the right hand. The melody is just so pretty.
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