Right before starting to write this entry, I looked back and read some of my oldest posts on this blog. Once again, I realize my posts are different from just 2 years ago. Wait, it's almost 3... Aw dang.
For one thing, they're so much longer and generally contain more proper punctuation. Another is that at first I was very focused on wanting to put pictures because, and I quote, "I love drawing so much". Frankly, I don't believe that. I've always liked drawing, but I don't LOVE it, and I don't think I ever really loved it as much as those people that are determined to be professional artists. I haven't had that much dedication to art, especially considering for a while I've had more interest in writing (though it's more difficult to show off my writing beyond the writing my dairy thing when I don't have as much I'm willing to actually show and most that I'm willing to show is just too long. I still am occasionally surprised and proud by the amount of pics on here and how good a select part of them are.
I also found this one paragraph from a really old post that mentally cracks me up. I still think like that!
Now to say things that have to do with the present! I forgot to mention earlier that my sis has a really good friend who is in a way adopted to our family, and so we're apparently sisters now? She loves it, calling me her little sister pretty much every time she gets the chance. In the process she also adds in compliments, calling me adorable and stuff, so even though it's a little odder to me considering my age, I ain't complaining. It'd be a whole different thing if she started punching me in the arm a lot or something, though. I wouldn't want to tolerate that.
A few days ago, a few people from our ooooold ward came to help us get some boxes into the house (more like apartment, but whatever). Man, this used to take us hours because we had so much stuff, but it's been slimmed down so much we got it done in an hour. (In one of the old posts, I was saying that I didn't want to let go of my childhood toys, but so much of it had to go in the past few years. Sorry, old me.)
I got to hang out with Elenita, my adorable little sis who is my youngest best friend! It was awkward at first and she seemed surprised by how I was acting (which was weird not only because of my natural weirdness, but also weirdness that comes from being nervous), but in time things were like before. That made me quite happy.
Also, a pair of brothers were there, and I was mildly shocked by how nice they were. As I commented to Elenita- it's not like they were horrible before, just not so... nice. And, because I was all happy because of Elenita and just being excited for no reason, I barely wasted any time to act normal (for me) around them. They said nothing about it, which is part of why they just seemed so nice.
So my mom and sister occasionally talk about how I used to be super blunt when I was younger, though I hardly remember being like that, and they kinda wish I'd be like that again, I think. And I don't know what to think about that.
For one thing, sometimes I wish it was easier for me to speak my mind, because being quiet can be quite frustrating for both parties. But at the same time, I regret stuff I did when I was younger because I was rude. Not just blunt, but rude. I realized that I was sometimes like that all the way back in 8th grade (I think it was the post titled "Amnesia"?) and from then on I wanted to try to not do that. But now I feel afraid to share my opinion, especially on the internet.
This frustrates me now more than ever, because I've been on a forum where people are a bit... intense. I want to tell them off (in the nicest way possible) SO BAD, but I just know I am most likely going to regret it. I doubt I'll make things any better, and I don't want them to think I'm a jerk who sticks their nose in everybody's business. But there's just constant hostility there (or, at least, it feels like it's constant), and they don't all seem to realize how hostile they're being, and they should be trying to not act that way even if they are right. Agh!
I've also wanted to put my own perspective on one or two issues on Facebook (like, who does that?) but not only does it feel hypocritical since I generally don't care to see other people's opinions, but I feel so sure I'll be attacked. Harshly. Thanks for believing in freedom of speech, fellow Americans.
Eh, there's a few things I've been putting off talking about, and I'm thinking maybe I'll just not bother... Maybe. I don't know if they're important or not! I have to think about whether Future Me would actually want to remember that!
Though I do just want to point out that I finally finished watching Gravity Falls, which was so close to making me cry in the last episode, and yesterday I binged a bit on GF fanstuff on Tumblr. But there's less stuff, so less danger of overloading on downloads! But there was one fic that, near the end, I literally cried a bit. GOSHDANGIT, WHY DO FICS KEEP DOING THIS TO ME? AND WHY DO I KEEP READING THINGS THAT DO THIS TO ME?
This is the short rant I typed to remind myself to talk about it in this post:
Can people just stahp with the whole making-me-physically-cry thing? It even has a name! Stangst! It is a special brand of tears. Wow, thanks.
I like the GF fandom in some aspects. There's other aspects I don't like. Whatever the case, I wanna watch the show again sometime and learn more about the fandom.
I think I'll stop with posting this pic. I tried drawing my new character for the fic I'm doing with Liz (poor Liz has to deal with me and my sometimes-wanting-to-do-something-else-instead-ness. I haven't told her I ignored her message last night in favor of GF-binging) and I'm not entirely happy with it. It's close to what I actually pictured, but it's not quite there.
Bai!
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