Well, that was unexpected. I was getting on my laptop to start on this entry, but then decided to look at my "Misheard" notes on my iPod, and... ended up concocting an entire song in less than two hours based on a few of the things in there. (In case ya don't know, it's just a note that has pieces of lyrics that I really like, lyrics that I misheard, and lines that I came up with on my own. The point is for those things to be there to inspire new songs, and, evidently, it's worked a couple times.) It started with just inserting a few different pieces that sounded good together, but I later tried to make it have some sort of meaning and order to the chaos. The message ended up being kinda like "Okay, so we're nowhere near perfect, and that can suck, but that doesn't mean we have to listen to people that judge our imperfect states. They have just as many flaws; we just happen to not try to hide ours."
I usually wait at least another day for final proofreading before posting songs, but I figured I should do it now, because I'm probably gonna get a little busier school-wise this week compared to last week and the week before that. Nonetheless, hope "Broken Stars" isn't too bad of a song.
Good news: I did some more reading of the scriptures than I usually do on Sundays, so it looks like there might be hope for accomplishing that New Year's Resolution after all!
Even gooder news is something that happened Friday night. Carter and I had been texting for quite a while, but I don't think either of us had the heart, yet, to end it in favor of going to sleep. So, it was about 1 in the morning (for me), and we were still texting.
Now, Carter, here- as far as I'm aware- does not consider himself particularly religious. I want to tell him about the Church sooooo badly, but I can't just go dumping everything on him, nor go looking like I'm forcing him to listen to me, because that's not my intention. It's just... being a member makes me very happy, and I think it'd make him happy too, ya know? I hadn't really said much about this stuff until last Sunday, when I had the inclination to share with him a scripture the teacher had used in Sunday School (D&C 1:37-39, though technically we'd read only 38 in class), and he responded positively to it. I don't know for sure if he was just being respectful or actually liked it- it's hard to tell those sorts of things by text- but it still made me happy.
Since I don't really want to go into a ton of detail- out of respect for Carter, the subject, and the reader who would be bored to death- I'll just say that I ended up saying something about how, if he ever wanted to know something or get help from God, the best way was just to ask Him about/for it.
Now that I'm not half-asleep, I can now think of better ways I could've worded my text, but I'm hoping what I had sent was decent enough for him to actually think about it.
Anyone who just so happens to have actually read up to this point, I'd like to tell you now that, no matter how good or bad a person you think you are, you can still talk to Him. He wants you to talk to Him. He loves you, and listens to you, and will respond. You just gotta have some faith, and ask. It doesn't have to be formal; heck, nowadays, I pretty much try to go as informal-but-still-respectful as I possibly can, because the more you talk to him like he's your dad- because he is your dad- the easier it is to be sincere with whatever you tell him and have a real relationship with him. That's what my YW leader back in Alabama had told us, when I was 15, and I tried it out myself, and found it to be true. So don't worry about knowing how to do old-timey speak, just talk to him. If you put your heart into it, you'll know He's there listening. He may give an answer immediately, or He may wait a bit- either way, He will answer. Guaranteed.
I don't have much to talk about from during the week- which, considering how much space I've already used, is more a good than bad thing.
My mom and I have been watching more old Mexican stuff. We watched Dos tipos de cuidado, which I liked quite a bit. The songs were great (the first one actually reminded me a bit of the one in Alice in Wonderland when the flowers are singing), and both the funny and intense moments were done well. (Man, it would be awesome to live in a place where everyone dressed like the people in this movie!) The ending felt a little too... happy? It was done in a way that reminded me a bit of Grease's ending (and not just because it had a fun song with a lot of people dancing). I love Grease, but you gotta admit it could've had a bit more tact with how things ended.
We also watched some XH Derbez yesterday (after going out for Korean food- why is there spice in almost everything they make?), since it's on Netflix now. My mom had shown me and my sis some of her favorite sketches years ago, but it's a new experience to watch from the very first episode (and have subtitles!).
I could finally start on the application for the scholarship I wanted to do at the U!... Kind of. Turns out you need to do a general application first, and I'm a bit unsure on a few of those questions. And I got to do a sneak-peek as to what questions I'll be answering for the scholarship itself, and... it looks like I'm gonna take a while on those. (I wish I could've done this earlier, since I didn't have as much to do at school the past few weeks! Urgh!) And, on top of that stuff, it looks like there's something wrong with my account in the U. Two somethings, at least, last time I checked. I sent an email about it, and they said I need to call. I'm not looking forward to the tech support session...
Oh, and there's this thing called the Regents' Scholarship? I'd seen its name before when looking for scholarships (most of which I haven't actually applied to, yet... *sweatdrop*), but the description was rather vague and confusing, and I just kinda ignored it for a bit because I just wasn't sure what was up with it. I finally looked at it more closely, and it turns out I qualify for it- but, I only had about two weeks left to put in an application and send in the required documents. And the website kept being a total poohead and crashing, making doing these things more difficult than necessary! Why? WHY?
So... I have trying to rush on these scholarships, plus dealing with my schoolwork, to look forward to this week. *sarcastic* Sounds like a blast!
I had to order my cap and gown for my (official) graduation ceremony this week. We'd been given a whole catalog for getting a class ring or similar jewelry, too, which I never thought I'd actually consider getting- not just because of being expensive, but what would be the point of getting a ring for the high school I will graduate from when I had technically attended 4 different high schools? I mean, I have memories from all of them (both good and bad), and I had different friends and teachers in all of them, and all of them had a part in who I am today- so I'm not gonna spend hundreds of dollars on a ring (I don't even wear rings much, anyway!) that only gave credit to one of those high schools.
But then... I turned to the page that had something called a Class Locket, that had much more potential: it has at least 4 different things inside of it, which can all represent whatever mattered to you the most during your high school career.
This was my opportunity to put something for all my high schools! And I was more likely to wear a necklace than a ring!
With input from my sis, we ultimately came up with this:
(Pretend that the "J" is inside the locket; for some reason, they would put the "extra" charms outside.)
So the "J", hornet, flag, and blue gemstone represented my different schools. (That extra white gemstone I figured I'd just pretend represented the summer math program and concurrent classes. Having a lone gemstone is required, for some reason.) Yes, it'd technically have the name of my current school engraved where it says "Your School Name Here", but the other side of the locket doesn't have that, so I'd probably just have that side in front instead.
The charms worked out relatively well for the different schools, and I could imagine myself actually wearing this, but... in case you haven't noticed the price tag in the top right corner...
Yeah.
I mean, I actually have enough money for it in my bank account, now, since I'd been given more money in December (seriously, most of the money I have now is just from my aunt's generosity), but barely? I wouldn't have much left over if I bought this, That wouldn't matter so much if I was still in elementary or middle school, but I'm just a few months away from going to college. I need to keep around as much of my money as I can.
But I really like the idea of having this necklace. Even though I am not all that much into fancy jewelry (AKA any piece of jewelry that costs more than maaaybe $20) or dressing particularly fancy in general, and that price tag practically gave me and my sis and my mom heart attacks, and- if I got this- it would literally be the most expensive thing I owned... I liked, and still like, the idea.
My sister offered to pay for part of the cost, but it still would leave way too much of a dent in my own savings.
I was starting to agonize a bit over making this decision, because I had the money, but I needed to keep the money, but I knew I'd make the most of owning this necklace, but I also knew that I didn't need this necklace... I was resorting to thinking about getting a short-term job to be able to recover what I'd spent, but there were not very many particularly pleasant ideas for what jobs I could possibly do for this, and that idea was clashing with other plans we already wanted to make, and-
Then, I ended up talking to Carter about our prom plans again. And I got my priorities straight.
I had never really been super pumped about stuff like prom (so I didn't go last year), or having a quinceañera (so I didn't have one), or even about going to the multi-stake dance last night (so I watched XH Derbez with my mom instead), but I want to hang out with Carter for real, and I know that he's one of those people that would make it a fun night no matter what, and we made a promise to try our best to make this happen. One of the biggest issues we're facing, of course, is figuring out the best and cheapest way to get him here for this.
A round-trip flight from where he lives to where I live costs a little over $200.
I had not offered to help pay for this ticket earlier, because I didn't really have that kind of money, but now I do. And, if he's gonna make the sacrifice of getting on a plane to come here just for prom night (though we hope to have more time together than just that one night), then the least I can do is help with at least half his total travel costs. Especially because the poor thing doesn't have a job, like me.
Yes, I still plan to use some money, but this matters to me (and, more importantly, to him) more than a necklace. (And, bonus, I'm gonna spend quite a bit less on this.)
I guess, in the near (or distant) future, I could still buy the necklace, if I still want to have it at that point, but not when I have higher priorities looming over my head.
So... yeah. I just got the cap and gown for now. (Not even with my own money, since my parents said they'd pay for the cap and gown, if I wanted to be in my class's graduation ceremony. As long as I know that most of the other seniors are doing the ceremony, too, then yes. At least my school's small, so it'll be much less excruciating to watch my whole graduating class's ceremony compared to most other schools.)
I... think that's pretty much it. (Well, besides that my poor sister's got the flu right now. And she just barely started her new job last week!) (And Obama's not the President anymore. Trump is. I was pretty upset during the morning of his inauguration, unhelped by my English professor wanting to talk about all of this stuff the day before.) I am not particularly looking forward to the week ahead, but let's hope there's some good stuff to talk about in the next post regardless. Bye!
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