This is the 200th post!!! *confetti, fireworks, awesome party music!*
And... I don't have any particularly astounding news besides that.
Well, besides that I didn't put this up for over 2 weeks! Geez, I was really hoping I'd at the very least post this on time. But, well, last Sunday was the second half of the college prep workshop- oh, and guess what? It was Brorange's b-day that week, so we went to his house for dinner! And he actually came to the workshop so we could hang out a little longer. I wish it was a little funner that day for him, but at least we could hang still. We also went to his house again yesterday, and spent a lot more time there this time. And then- wait for it, it gets really sucky right here- I spent 3 or 4 hours that night working on the physics project. Because we had to turn it in this morning.
Even though I really didn't want to do that (especially because that would mean doing schoolwork on Sunday), I was basically forced to. I don't want to sound like a butthead, but... I honestly feel like it's the fault of my teammates. I tried to finish what I was supposed to do so that we still had plenty of time to put everything together, but they didn't really follow that example all that much... I had a hard time restraining myself from doing more than mildly-gentle nudges. I dunno, maybe one or two of those nudges weren't even as gentle as I intended. I could just feel the Blunt Sass-Maker 2000 trying to come out! But that was the one that made me a butthole when I was in charge of my own RP forum, and I don't want that again!
But geez did these guys try my patience. Oh, so much.
Okay, there's a lot to talk about, so I gotta get behind my rant and get started!
I was waiting for it. Waiting for it. The Monday after last post, my mom and sis were talking about how I could try to plan things out so I'd be less stressed. I mean, this was quite the busy October, and it's really sucked. I pretty much hold my tears in until they point it out. Once they do, I can't help but start crying. (They get really confused by this reaction.)
I actually cried more like two or three times, all from my stress and sheer frustration over the whole situation. I mean, it felt everything school-related and college-related (otherwise known as even more school) just got piled up on me at the same time. (Frankly, it's such a relief that I've survived without losing that much sleep.)
But yeah. That Monday sucked.
My sister, as an effort to help me feel a little better, popped up after another bout of tears in the afternoon and gave me a little stuffed animal.
Look at that absolute adorableness.
Since we'd just watched Zootopia together that weekend, I named him Nick Wilde. Of course.
I'm so tempted to call my sister a precious angel just for this moment, cuz it meant a lot to me... even though she admitted it was actually supposed to be my Christmas present this year. No wonder she managed to pull this out of thin air. I don't expect her to get another present, duh, and I never expect any of my family to give me Christmas presents- especially considering that, well, I tend to end up not having presents for them in return. This was the perfect gesture, though, and proves that my family knows me too well and I'm really predictable. I'm kinda okay with that.
Like I said before, I somehow survived these past few weeks- and by that I mean I actually got just about everything I planned to do done (except get much further on my Stanford app, but I'll explain that later) and I didn't cry again. Two victories right there.
One of those things was intended to be for the Stanford application- one question asks what historical moment/event you would want to witness, and I just figured something to do with Mexico gaining its independence because ¡¡¡VIVA MÉXICO!!! And, well, I liked the idea of learning more about Mexico's history and do something more with my mom as I tried to decide what to put for my answer. (I honestly still don't know what to put.) Her suggestion was to watch a really old movie that had been about how Mexico got its national hymn/anthem and also about Cinco de Mayo. Since it's harder for me to understand Spanish on TV and in movies, especially the older stuff since the audio isn't as good, she explained every once in a while what they were talking about, but I could usually get quite well what was going on in the second half-ish. (...The subtitles that we later found helped.) It was pretty cool, and even my mom was like "Wow, I didn't remember learning that in school!" and we both got pretty sucked into the story. There were a few parts where the characters said very patriotic things where I kinda felt they could've toned it down juuuuust a bit, but besides that I really liked the movie! Even better, I could watch it with my mom! *audience "aw"s*
I realized at some point that week that I hadn't ever bothered with considering putting Rory into WFAM. Though I'm not 100% sure what part of the story she'll be in, I have an idea that she can be part of the 3rd Side, AKA the bad guy's side... Also, I decided to make her middle name Aurora (which totally doesn't have to do with the physics project being about the Aurora borealis). Rory Aurora Madgett. I actually like it quite a bit. (Another idea based off her new full name is making her be a shifter who tends to shift into a ram... cuz her initials are now RAM... Hehe, so many clevers.)
Both Saturdays, we went to eat at a Chinese place we hadn't tried before, and just about everything we've ordered is really good. I have a feeling this is going to be one of our new favorite restaurants.
Not last Saturday, but the Saturday before that, there was a baptism in our ward, and it was pretty cool because one of the guys getting baptized is in my Sunday School class! I feel kinda bad because the teenagers in just about any of the wards I've been in aren't exactly the best representatives of our church... but he seems like he really enjoys class, so I'm so happy he like the gospel and church. Apparently, he hadn't ever been to any church before this, but he seems like he's actually gonna stick around and stay faithful. I mean, that's crazy awesome!
This is one of those moments where I feel kinda weird about talking about something really private between me and another person... but this is really important. Basically, Carter and I made a promise to each other that, if either of us ended up meeting an untimely demise before we get to finish our stories- his is DoH, mine is WFAM- that the other person will be given the rights to all of it to continue the work. So if he dies, I finish DoH in his stead, and if I die he finishes WFAM. I learned in Financial Lit that you have to be at least 18 to make a will, so at the moment we can really just promise that that will be on our wills, but both of us are taking it really seriously. Thinking about who I want my possessions to go to when I die is not something I've ever thought to do or wanted to do before this, but right now I'm just thinking that some of the stuff that's most important to me just so happen to be on my flash drive and Google Drive. ..Well, I guess I have actually thought about how I'd likely just give my family and some of my friends full permission to read the things I wrote in this blog. I mean, it's my diary, and a diary can say a lot about a person. Even though there's still a lot of stuff left out of here, there's a lot that my mom, dad, and sister don't know about me yet. Like that one time I cried after my sis had left the house for the first time. (I'm so glad I can handle her being gone a lot better now- and, well, I have to, since she's gonna be going to Europe in a few weeks, and staying there. I haven't mentioned it before because it was only very recently that that was made official.) Or that I wrote a song for Coatrack. Or even that I referred to most people by weird codenames like "Coatrack" here! I should probably put a key somewhere in my stuff so whoever reads this will understand who the heck I'm talking about... Dang, with 200 posts, it's going to take a while for me to go through all the posts and write down who it is that I'm talking about in all of them.
But yeah. Even if I don't get to put it on my will (it very well can happen- no one can predict how long life will last), I am saying it here and now that when I die, my flash drive and Google Drive are to be put in the hands of my mom, dad, sister, and Cairo (AKA Carter, in this blog). And, if I haven't finished WFAM, then Cairo is given my little black notebook that my sis gave me for my 15th birthday. Just about everything related to WFAM is in there, along with a lot of other poo. And this blog... Well, basically given to my family and whoever considers themselves my friends, and whoever else my family and friends deem okay to read any of this. Though it's not like I wanna restrict all that much who reads this, I'd just feel kinda uncomfortable if just about everyone in the entire world read it, and knew who wrote it, ya know. So... publishing it as an actual book or something? Even though I highly doubt anyone in their right mind would do that, Dead Me would not really appreciate it all that much, I think. Be careful what you do, because I'm basically entrusting my life story to you, even though it tends to not be a particularly interesting life story. Complicated? Oh, yes. Interesting? ...From what usually ends up in my posts, I don't think so.
That's it for future inevitable death, so I guess I'll return to the topic of my future inevitable life.
*unenthusiastic* Woo, constantly-changing college plans.
Wait a minute, I'm suddenly remembering that I did cry at some point again during these past few weeks! It was because of this very topic- college plans changed.
So, due to the college workshop, I felt a little better about going to the U of U. And seeing that I was starting to consider going there a little more, my dad decided that we'd go there together to get more info on scholarships and special programs that I can be a part of if I go there and such. Some of them didn't really say much beyond what's already on the U's website, but we did talk to one guy who was, um... I can't remember his job title, but he was a junior who worked in the Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program, though he was more of an info guy than research assistance guy, I think... Anyway, we were sitting with him for an hour or so, and he was telling us more about these programs and telling us what he thought were my best options. Craziness- he was studying what I was planning to study, and also just recently started a business/organization (can't remember which), which is exactly what my dad wants to do in the future! And we got there right before he showed up for his shift, and no one else came into the office! So, basically, the stars aligned so that we could talk to this guy.
Despite that, he said some stuff that I didn't want to take seriously, but... It was impossible not to take that stuff to heart. He'd pointed out that he'd been in a similar position as me- looking to some of the top American colleges, and having to decide between those or staying in-state- and he told me that he ultimately stayed here because you had more opportunities to do cool things like research and to be special in the U than in one of those schools where everybody has done equally awesome stuff and probably more than you, and are extremely competitive. Extremely. Though he talked more about Berkeley, since he'd been accepted there and he visited there and talked to one of his friends who was actually going there, he mentioned also visiting Stanford... I can imagine that it'd not be all that different.
See, I was already thinking very similar things to what he said- that it'd be a very competitive environment, that the classes would be even more stressful, that it'd be harder to stand out when everyone's at the same level and likely better than you in several ways- but I'd been trying to ignore that little voice in my head saying those things because everything else about Stanford sounded so great. But now that that guy had said those things out loud... it really stuck. And it completely ruined my Stanford spirit.
Now, I don't feel any desire to even send in my application, even though my family's still urging me to do it to see what happens. This is kinda tough, because I feel like just going to the state university might be too easy, but I don't think I could handle the schoolwork (I mean, c'mon, I'm already crazy stressed with what I'm doing now) and feeling like a nobody at Stanford... I mean, I certainly don't intend to be the popular kid, and I actually don't intend to do incredible world-changing things like you're supposed to tell colleges you want to do... but I can imagine my self-esteem wouldn't exactly grow, either, in a place like that.
And BYU's kinda out of the picture, again, since it turns out they barely have any of the kinds of classes I'd want to take... They technically have genetics, but it's basically just a bit of plant genetics. I wanna study the human kind, so no thank you.
At this point, it basically looks like U of U, and maybe turning in the Stanford app, still, if I manage to get myself to do it... Man, this was not what Past Me would've expected. Any of my Past Me's.
But yeah. I cried a bit because it sucks so bad for all my plans to change once again. Just like in the summer, and the other times things got really shaken up. (Again, my mom as confused by my reaction. Even though this time I actually tried to explain it.)
Also, from what we learned at the U, it seems highly unlikely that I'd ever manage to get an internship next semester, as I expected. (There's a program I can apply for at the U that would give me a similar experience, though, that starts the summer before my first fall semester at college, so that's pretty cool, right?) Plus, the fact I'm apparently gonna go to the U, which basically accepts all credits from the community college, means it's to my benefit, anyways, if I stick around to do some more concurrent classes. So, guess who's staying till June? (I think I might do 2 classes instead of 3, like I'd originally been thinking, so that I'd have more time to indulge in writing and other hobbies before I ship off to college.
Oh dang, I should probably be getting ready for bed now... Dang it, post, why do you have to take so long?!
Last week, I did Halloween-themed outfits! And, since I rarely take actual pics of myself since that's kinda ruining the sort-of anonymity of this whole thing (and I usually feel weird taking pictures of myself anyways), I did my best to draw them... but when I did this, there was only pen to work with.
I might've over-edited this, but I couldn't help it! I thought the aura the drawings attained looked cool!
Monday: Snoopy Jack-o-Lantern tank top under my orange plaid shirt; dark jeans with pocket watch; Batman boots. (This is what I wore when my dad took me around the U. Dang, my feet were killing me by the end.)
Tuesday: New black-and-white Nightmare Before Christmas flyaway cardigan-sweater-thing over a plain black dress (oh my gosh, it wasn't till near the end of school that my friend realized my dress was inside out! At least it was only noticeable on the collar and bottom hem, since I hadn't ever taken off the cardigan!); thick, purple tights; pocket watch worn as necklace; black flats.
Wednesday: Nightmare Before Christmas shirt, which has Jack on the front and Sally on the back (layered over a gray long-sleeved shirt); green jeans with pocket watch; black hairclip (I switched it with a spiderweb butterfly clip when I went to Young Women's); gray zipper Converse. (Today, the Young Men and Women of the stake got together to watch the Studio C Face-to-Face live, which was pretty great, even though I've barely seen any of their stuff. I know, I'm a disappointment to all Mormons everywhere.)
Thursday: Kiki's Delivery Service tank top layered over a black long-sleeved shirt; velvet-ish black leggings; pocket watch worn as necklace and Halloween hair ties used for pigtails; gray Converse.
Friday: Orange dress (that is intended more for spring or summer, but whatever) with black cardigan over it (which had a white translucent lace-ish detail at the collarbone and little skull buttons- classic Hot Topic); black tights; spiderweb butterfly hairclip; black flats.
So much detail! I bet you didn't even care!
Ah man, I seriously should be in bed by now, and I still haven't talked about what happened at the ACTs! Okay, um, I guess I'm leaving that to next week...? Man, I seriously hope I don't regret doing that.
Just final comment that I came across a whole plagiarizing conspiracy on the internet; I realized one of the sources I had used for the physics project had actually copy-and-pasted from another website, along with some of the other stuff they'd put, but it was impossible to find who had posted some of that in the first place because 5 or 6 other people had copied-and-pasted too! As in, a gazillion websites with literally the exact same sentences/paragraphs and I couldn't even tell who said that in the first place. It was absolutely insane to watch as this whole thing unfolded before my eyes on my computer screen.
Alright, almost midnight! BYE!
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