The post I had that was partly for past week and this week... I fully expected for my entry to be deleted at some point because, unless I save it with a title, then everything will eventually be erased. So, several times, I made sure I had it copied in the iPod clipboard or whatever you wanna call it. It would've been perfectly fine...
But, ever since David Bowie's "Space Oddity" was referenced to in Wonder by RJ Palacio, which I read today, it'd been stuck in my head, and by the third time I played it on YouTube today, I was finally like "Okay, this is gonna be my theme song for the week, so I might as well put down the lyrics in my Notes" and did so.
I forgot I had copied my blog post, which, the moment I came back to finish it, found deleted, and told myself that was okay because it wasn't actually gone- so I told my iPod to paste, and I ended up filling the new blog post with the lyrics to "Space Oddity".
I've decided that, if I have somehow kept not getting the stuff in that post actually posted, it was just not meant to be and I should let that post go. If there was truly anything important, I guess I'll tell the tale later. There's plenty of things I actually haven't written about here, so that's okay, right?
Instead, I'm just gonna talk about Wonder.
That book actually had me close to tears two or three times, because there's a lot of stuff that hit home.
One thing is just him wanting to be normal and not defined as just this. I'm always really anxious about whether I'm annoying someone or offending someone or just looking a whole lot like an idiot, and it's a little tiring. I always end up forgetting about that for a moment, especially when I'm more comfortable with whoever I'm with, then later regretting whatever I'd done. I don't like giving off the wrong impression and I don't like thinking I've done something stupid.
I know I look different (but not in Auggie's way; it does still have to do with my face, but in the way that people assume I'm from somewhere else, not that there's something wrong with me), and I always end up not actually being what they expect from my appearance. I consider myself a complicated, confusing person, about as contradictory as Starbursts. Okay, a little more than Starbursts, actually.
Your appearance alone doesn't define who you are. I know that is how it is in my case, though sometimes I wish appearance would tell people exactly who I am, even if it would stop people from being surprised by me. (Just a few days ago, a friend finally found out I was a junior. She gaped at me for almost 10 minutes as the class continued, while I just looked super amused.) But it is still a part of who you are, no matter what everyone says about "Don't judge a book by its cover." I mean, it's how you express yourself. It tells people what you're into, what you spend your life doing, and, sometimes, the kind of experiences you've had that shaped you into who you are today. The outside doesn't reflect the inside entirely, and the inside doesn't exactly have to reflect the outside, but both parts are components of what makes you you.
I just wish being so concerned about both the inside and outside didn't control me so much.
Another thing about the book was when it went into Auggie's sister's perspective. Part of her is in me- but not as much as there could be. My mom likes to put in the effort when she can to ask me if I'm okay with the amount of attention I've received, because there's been times when the focus was, essentially, on my sister. I actually had never considered that I could feel that way, or people could think that that's how I feel- that I'm being slightly neglected because priority is being placed on my sibling. I still don't feel that way, even though it's true I felt more attention on me once she was gone. But we still talk about her a lot, and I really care about everyone in my family, and I know everyone cares about me, and that wouldn't change depending on my needs.
There were so many relatable points in the book, no matter who's point of view, and it just makes me grateful that I'd found a copy of it on the shelf in Kmart earlier this year, or I might've missed out on this book for years like I have for some other ones.
Now, every time I think of David Bowie, I'm gonna think of "Space Oddity" (I'm glad that I'd already heard it once a month or so ago and really liked it) and then that'll make me think of Wonder and August and all the other people from that book, and I'll remember my favorite quote from there:
Everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world. -Auggie
I really liked that part in the book when he participated in a standing ovation, and thought about how good the people who were being clapped for must've felt. He mused how everyone should get that feeling at some point. I liked the sound of that.
So... knowing I'll remember this book through the different references in it makes me content. I'm hoping it'll drive me to be kinder more often. After all, that was a huge message in the work, right?
Depending on what happens with my audition in the school play (which I actually don't have the energy to talk more about, so I'm hoping I'll remember the details without writing them down), I'm gonna try to start back up on writing stuff again. That probably sounds a little odd, but I actually hadn't written much within the past month. Most of the writing-related stuff I did had to do with jotting down ideas. I'm worried that, even though I actually have the general idea of how to finish VH, I won't get around to doing it.
But life has the extraordinary power of surprising us, so who knows? Maybe I will actually finish it. Maybe I will actually talk about WFAM on here eventually. Maybe I'll completely change my career path right before or during college and end up happier than I would've been if I stuck with the plan I have now (Bachelor's in Genetics with a minor in Creative Writing). Come at me, world!
Happy Late Halloween, Feliz Día de los Muertos, and Happy Daylight Savings Ending!
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