Decisions

Hello world!

I didn't get to post yesterday, so I will today!

I found out the second season of Gravity Falls premieres on August 1! *girly scream* I found out, through a Reddit page, some of the inspirations for characters and stuff like that. I also found out searchfortheblindeye.com is a real site, made by someone anonymous to creep people out. It has a countdown to that day currently. Also, two pages of some story. Why just two, though? *tear*

This week is when girls camp begins, but this time I'm not going. Why?

When asked a few weeks ago, I said I'll go, but I didn't feel as enthusiastic as I was last year. I knew that I would get to know better the girls in my ward and do lots of fun stuff, but it just... didn't seem as appealing. Last week, my dad sent to me one of the e-mails (for some reason they only e-mailed our parents, not the girls themselves) with information on it. As I read through, I suddenly had no desire to go anymore. At the time, I'm sure it was more out of laziness than a prompting from the Holy Ghost, but I still considered it something to ponder on. I told my mom and sister the next day, and they told me to think about it more, and make a decision on whether to go or not.

I'm sure you know, Future Me. I hate making decisions.

So at one point, my mom told me to go up to my room, pray, ponder, and do what I need to to make the decision. That I did. To help me, I started reading through the e-mail again. I sat there for a while thinking, but I was suddenly very unsure. Knowing I had to choose NOW really stressed me out, to the point of silent tears. Eventually I just said "This is just too stressful and a waste. If I can't decide, I might as well make it easy on myself and not go at all." Yeah, take it the easy way out. I considered what I was doing a bit longer, and figured it was for the best of my sanity to say I won't go. As I walked out of my room to tell my mom, I tried to think of a reason, if she asked for it. I realized that eventually, just the thought of going to the camp was getting me a bit stressed. I felt like this time, if I went, I would be more tense and unhappy than relaxed and having fun. So I knew I was doing what felt right, and my conclusion was made.

Having to choose, especially for things that you know can be very life-changing, is very hard for me. I have always been the one that tried to push all of the decision-making to other people. Yeah, I know, that's not good, but I couldn't help it. Nowadays, though, it seems I have to make big decisions more often. (Oh, joy. *Titan Eren yell* *flips a chair*)

Now, I have to choose what school I want to go to for 10th grade.

My family really doesn't like the school that I had to go to for the last few weeks of 9th grade when we moved here, so they want to get me in a better one. They were planning to move to another house soon, anyways (good thing we just rented), so that's not the problem here. The prob, Bob, is that there are 2 schools I could choose from, and whichever I choose basically determines the area we move to. And most likely, where we will be until I finish high school.

Crap.